7 Things: Random Stuff #1

Art & Anniversaries

As of Saturday, Shawna and I have officially been together for fourteen years. Last year, Shawna’s youngish cousin asked how long we’d been together and we responded the correct number of years at the time – which was close to thirteen – and his child-like eyes got huge as he replied, “That’s a lifetime!” To which Shawna calmly replied, “I guess if you’re thirteen.”

So, yeah, it’s been a long time, and, looking at that number in print, I realize how soon will come the time that we’ll have been together half of my life.

We fool a lot of people, Shawna and I.

Not intentionally.

But we do.

It takes me both hands to count the number of people who have said to us, or to me alone, “I wish that I had a relationship like yours.” I remember one particular conversation where the person went on to say, “You two seem to really care about each other.”

Yes, of course we do. We wouldn’t be together after fourteen years if we didn’t. And I honestly don’t understand people who have been in a relationship for twenty years who don’t care about each other. Or a bystander who seems surprised by the fact that we do.

But, often, these people are single and think that having a partner throughout their entire adult lives would have been dreamy, or they are in a very bad place in their own relationship and see our relationship as a calm, safe place. Translation: They see the grass as greener.

Every time someone brings up the seeming stability and ease of our relationship, I correct them. I tell them that just because we don’t advertise our couple woes on an ongoing basis doesn’t mean that we don’t have them. I tell them that we have been through some very, very hard times. That we still go through them regularly. I tell them that sometimes their side of the fence looks greener, because relationships take a LOT of work, and being single means being accountable to no one but yourself.

It’s all true.

And, when you end up staying with the same person that you came out with – the same person that you went through persecution and pain with – you end up lugging around a lot of baggage between you.

This past week, Shawna and I sternly discussed numerous things – some trivial, some not so trivial. Then, on Saturday, we went to three art museums, we went to lunch, we went for the best coffee in the city – which, amazingly enough, really was the best coffee in the city – and we almost got hit by a truck together. Then, we both laughed at and cursed the fact that just when Dallas gives you something worthwhile, like really good coffee, you almost get mowed down by bad Dallas drivers while trying to drink it.

The point of all of this is, I don’t know what makes a good relationship – and I honestly don’t know how she lives with me – but Saturday was a good day.




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  1. Congrats on your 14 years of togetherness. 🙂 You do make it look effortless at times, but I know how much work you put into it… to make it work. I love & miss you both!!! Glad you had a good day, sometimes that’s all we need to remember why the hell we did it in the first place. 😉

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