40 Hotties Over 40: #1 Laura Elena Harring (Age: 44)

Okay, so I left number two hanging out there for like the longest time. All drama aside, I do apologize for that, and if it makes me a schmuck, well, then it does and there isn’t much that I can do about it now.

But really, I mean, what to say?

There is hotness and then there is “Whatever you do, don’t let that girl out of the car near a national forest, because the trees will spontaneously combust and she’ll be arrested on one count of arson and a thousand counts of being too, too, too sexy to strut near flora in the midst of a dry season.”

I think we all know which one this is –

laura-elena-hottie-2.jpg laura-elena-hottie-4.jpg

Good God lady. You go out in public like that? Is it your life’s mission to cause a fifty car pileup and excessive drooling?

Shot in the head at age twelve. A social worker in India at age eighteen. Miss USA at age twenty-one. Now that’s a life story.

She also dances and studies Buddhism and is all poetic and introspective, and as everyone knows –

1+1+1 = Sexy.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “I’ll bet this is when Riley first fell in love with Laura Elena and her perfectly crafted fake breasts.”

Good guess. But you’re wrong. You see, while I admit that Mulholland Drive is when I first came to know this buxom beauty by name, I actually had a mad thing for her when I was in junior high school, pre-boob job (hers, not mine). With some degree of shame, I confess that I watched this movie (and I use that term very loosely) every single time I saw it on cable –

So sue me! I had a crush!

Still do.

So, Laura Elena… Baby… you are my number one.


I know, I know. It makes me happy too.

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  1. Love your taste in general but in my slightly obsessed mind leaving out Meryl is sacrilege. I loved Cinderella and the brunette and the red head may be one of the best ideas in history so I’m inclined to forgive you. Still you left out Meryl I mean seriously have you seen that women? damn.

  2. what?!?!

    are you kidding me!? riley, who is this person??? you’re killin’ me, smalls!

    i’m on #33 on my list. you will be have it by year’s end. i have to wait because someone turns 40 in november. is that cheating?

  3. Yeah, she’s damn hot. But number 1? Actually, I don’t think you should rank the 40 over 40. It’s just not quite fair to put a freshly turned 40 yr old in direct competition with those 55 yr old. It’s just so much harder to pull it off in your 50’s than at 40. I don’t want this to be like Senior’s golf, where all time greats get shunted aside by above average players who just became old enough to qualify.

    I prefer the Hall Of Fame Concept that just celebrates the existence of women who are hot long after traditional society has declared them “no longer eligible” for hotness on the basis of age.

    With regards to your #1 pick, I’ve only seen this gal in Mullholland Drive, but she is smoking hot! I don’t know about the boob job, though. Women’s boobs do tend to get naturally bigger after 40. The first picture looks like they could be fake, but the picture in the green outfit doesn’t look that way.

    I hate fake boobs. If I wanted fake boobs, I’d by myself a pair and never leave home. But even if they are fake, she’s still really hot and deserves to be somewhere on the list.

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