Monsanto Skips Jail, Passes Go and Collects $200

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How Monsanto is Being Acquitted of Crimes Against Humanity Even as They Commit Them

It’s a scary thing writing about Monsanto. They really like to sue people – to the point of suicide, if necessary – and our government has a collective hard-on for them, so they are sharing a bed, kitchen counter, picnic blanket, or whatever surface on which they prefer their hanky-panky with some very powerful people.

So, here’s that famous, necessary, Kathy Griffin-style disclaimer –


Case in point (i.e. proof of hard-on), the Monsanto Protection Act, which isn’t the official name, but really should be, since that’s exactly what it does.

Protects them from what exactly?

Lawsuits, of course, stemming from any proof that *may* one day link GMOs with health conditions. Like… oh, I don’t know… Celiac Disease, for instance. Or fibromyalgia. Or any other random illness that is suddenly, inexplicably, on the rise at an alarming rate since the introduction of GMOs to the food supply.

In my opinion, it all happened about the same time.

Since I’ve detailed this in the past, let me breeze by my personal experience with GMOS one more time to enlighten those who may not know. In my opinion, GMOS are mixed up in here, of course. Only in my opinion.

Circa Late-2006 – My occasional migraines become near-daily migraines. I break down and go to the doctor, get referred to a neurologist, am told I have dozens of scars on my brain, and I probably have MS. They give me medication for the migraines and schedule a retest in six months.

Circa Early-2007 – The medication doesn’t work. (Not much of a shock since GMO corn or soy constitutes a major part of inactive ingredients in medication… in my opinion, that’s what the packaging conveys). I stop taking the medication and try changing my diet. I attempt to cut out all processed foods, but continue eating at restaurants when traveling.

Circa Late-2007 – I go on a trip, go to a well-known restaurant, take roughly ten bites of my meal, sprint through my fellow diners and throw up.

Circa Mid-2008 – Still working on perfecting my diet, I go on another trip, to a different well-known restaurant, take roughly ten bites of my meal, sprint through the empty restaurant, thank goodness, and stop just short of throwing up.

Circa Late-2008 – I change my diet more, overhauling completely, including going entirely organic, and cutting out every food that has a single unnecessary ingredient. I eat processed and non-organic food only when I don’t have much choice, and I slowly determine exactly which additives/foods cause me major issues.

This is when I discover for sure that – in my body’s opinion – GMOs are artificial foods. I get as sick when I eat GMOs as I get when I eat MSG, chemical yeasts and the other crap they get away with calling “food.”

Now, to be completely transparent, I was a very sick kid, born with a compromised immune system and all that. The fact that my body fails to process some things that other people can eat without a blip of discomfort isn’t all that surprising.

I don’t, however, believe that I am a special case. Or even part of a small group. I think I am extra-sensitive to things that are hurting all of us. That’s what bothers me the most.

It was a miserable learning curve, that I won’t deny, but I am actually grateful for the fact that I cannot eat things that are harmful to my body without feeling them. Generally. There are definitely days I crave a Kit-Kat, which contains half a dozen ingredients I can’t eat at all, plus vanillin, which, in my opinion, no one should be eating.

I look around, though, and I see people who are sick, who feel bad constantly, who have serious mental or physical illnesses that I know could be at least partially controlled through changes in their diets. I believe this, because I now get migraines only when I take stupid food risks, because I don’t have MS, though I suspect that’s what would have eventually come to pass, and because I have not been truly sick with a minor illness since I’ve cut all fake foods (including GMOs) out of my diet.

In my opinion, Monsanto and the other agri-companies manufacturing GMOs know they aren’t safe, know they are making people sick, and the government agencies that are supposed to be serving our interests, the seed-producers who are supposed to protect our food supply, and the medical industry, which is supposed to keep us well, are engaging in a giant orgiastic consortium where the climax is profit.

In my opinion, 2+2 still equals 4, even if the agri-companies and the agencies intentionally failing to regulate them want everyone to think 2+2 = We have your best interests at heart.

And in my opinion, an innocent man doesn’t run into his grandma’s house and say, “Granny, protect me from nothing.” A guilty man runs into his grandma’s house and says, “Granny, protect me from the fuzz, because I’ve been a very, very bad boy.”

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