Five Things Not to Do

Calling someone “gainfully unemployed” (no, that’s not a typo), even when meant as an insult, is actually a compliment.

People grow up. They choose to be “adult”. Too many stop playing. It’s sad. Everyone should own some toys. And not all of them should be sexual.

Gorgeous spring day. Santa Monica. A temperate 70 degrees. The sun warm, not hot. You spot an ice cream shop, and, though you weren’t thinking about it an instant before, it’s like a sign from the universe. There are a lot of things that could make this rare day of relaxation better, but, until you…

1 – It’s time to get out of the shower, but instead of drying off you just stand there with the towel wrapped around you wishing you’d never gotten in in the first place. 2 – You wake up having to pee in the middle of the night and really consider just peeing the bed….