7 Things: 7 Projects

One of three posts, muse-willing, by week’s end. And the other two will be fairly miserable, so, if you’re at all interested in the subject at hand, soak up the easygoing happiness of it while it lasts.

Also, hatred sucks, love is power, our president has done us proud, and there are now two baby birds nesting in the gutter outside my window.

I was asked the other day what I’m working on now, which was almost psychic, because I had already created this very post to post, though I hadn’t gotten it posted yet. Because I’m oddly excited about some of my current projects, though some of them are just rewrites and most will spend their entire lives on my flash drive, wondering why they never got their chance.

“I coulda been a contender.”
Could’ve been a contender

Here are seven projects I’ve been working on –

7 – Choosing a Place to Live

We’re moving again. Because that’s what we do. Because we don’t particularly like anywhere. Well, anywhere that the air won’t kill me, that is. But we especially don’t like here. So, we’re outtie.

Where to?

Why, straight to “no gay marriage” North Carolina, that’s where.

And, no, I’m not kidding. We’re headin’ on over to Raleigh to show how gay we can be. (I’m considering asking Shawna for an open relationship for the express purpose of asking people if they voted “for” and then sleeping with their wives.) I’m not happy with the results of yesterday, of course. It hurts to see just how much hatred and bigotry thrives in this country. But it hardly sets North Carolina apart. We are living in Texas, home of mega-churches and some of the biggest bigoted idiots to ever run for the highest office in the land, lived in “don’t say gay” Tennessee for several sporadic years, and were even living in California when Prop 8 passed. As far as anti-gay sentiment goes, we have first-hand experience that it’s widespread. Only the cities are havens, and not always. And hopefully we’ll like Raleigh. At any rate, it gets us closer to things we like. We were seriously underestimating how much we were going to hate living in the middle of the country.

We did get to see San Antonio and New Orleans, though.

6 – Short Idea

I have a lot of ideas for short films. Most of those ideas have a very specific audience or costly premises. This one I like a lot about a badass chic crash-landing in a small, dusty western town would blow your mind. But it’s a long, expensive shoot in the making. The other day though, randomly, as I washed my hands in a Starbucks sink, I had a sudden brain jolt. I came up with a truly universal short idea that doesn’t have to be expensive and is ripe for celebrity cameos. If it’s in the cards to film it this year, that would be tight.

5 – Best Women

Written last year for the Fox Comedy Script Contest, to which I submitted my sitcom pilot script Our Parents… the Haters instead, I have given my Best Women sitcom pilot script – adapted from my Best Women movie script – a pretty kickass rewrite and submitted it to the Fox Comedy Script Contest for this year. Perhaps, this year, the world is ready for committed lesbians with a squirt gun.

4 –  A Special Gift from Gram V

When it comes to complexity of plot and execution, I have written two screenplays that I feel lead the pack of the forty or so odd scripts I’ve written over the past decade-and-a-half. Gram V is one of them.  More than once, it’s been compared to Love, Actually, which I take as a major compliment. The movie is, as you’ve likely guessed, holiday-themed. And it’s uplifting. It received a decent rewrite, not so substantial as to have changed anything, but substantial enough that it worked out a few kinks where I used to get hung up while reading it. Now, it’s submitted to the Nicholl Fellowship and the Page Awards.

3 – Portland Shanghai

Along with A Special Gift from Gram V, one of my most complex scripts – though perhaps a tad more so than Gram V – Portland Shanghai isn’t my favorite movie I’ve written in terms of plot, but it is hands down my favorite in terms of writing. Not my usual fare, the script is based on the shanghaiing practice rampant in Portland, Oregon – and other port cities – in the late 1800s. It’s been submitted before, it’s gotten a rewrite for this year, but it’s largely the same scenes and same set-up. What makes me proud of this script is the way that it ramps up in intensity. I feel like it comes through on the page. Submitted to the Nicholl Fellowship and the Page Awards.

2 – Paradise Found

An idea I’ve been playing with for a couple of years, without actually getting it written, Paradise Found has finally been put to paper (or, more accurately, screen) as an hour-long drama pilot. It’s spiritually and supernaturally-minded, offers a picturesque location, and one of my favorite leading characters I’ve ever written. I don’t know how it will do, bit it’s submitted to the Scriptapalooza TV competition.

1 – Dr. Feelgood

A screenplay that has been largely written and waiting for – wait for it – the LAST SCENE for about a year and a half, Dr. Feelgood finally got that scene and a solid rewrite and finally moved from my “Movies Working On” to “Completed Movies” folder. It’s a romantic comedy with – GASP! – straight leads, and, amazingly enough, it turned out exactly how I wanted. Rare, to say the least.

The thing about Dr. Feelgood is that, while it’s definitely a romantic comedy at its core, it also has a strong message about physical beauty and the damage caused by societal expectations. And anyone who has ever attempted a message movie can tell you that it can be difficult to get your point across without getting heavy-handed. Just ask the writers of Happy Feet.

So, that’s what I’ve been working on. And working on. And working on.

It may be a whole lotta work for nothing. But no one can say I’m not trying.