How I Developed My Allergy to Offices

Typing one-handed is difficult, but for some unknown reason, typing one-handed while holding half of a grapefruit in the other is twice as difficult.

I know, I know, award shows aren’t exactly the place to glean essential life lessons, but these aren’t exactly essential life lessons. They’re more like casual observations that have an element of something resembling something worth knowing. So, here they are. The ten things I learned from this years Oscars, in order of increasing importance,…