Let Us Weep for Bea

It was several years ago that I first fell into unrequited lust with Caitlin Keats. It was this Oil of Olay commercial that first carried her into the Realm of Riley™. Then came this Olay commercial and then this Olay commercial. She’s paying the bills with commercial work, because the powers that be are clearly…

– OR – When Product Placement Becomes Plot A few weeks ago, when Hook asked Emma how he was portrayed in mainstream media (you know, Disney movies), I really thought they’d hit rock bottom with the shameless plugging and nudge-nudge, wink-winkiness of it all. Then, they quoted just about every easily-recognizable song lyric from The…

Shawna said she was buying me a Mustang, red or blue with racing seats, and that we were no longer paying any bills we don’t like. I didn’t take the opposing side in either of these debates, because there are definitely a few bills I hold a grudge against and I desperately need a muscle…

DISCLAIMER: This is about the musical The Color Purple. If you have managed to remain unspoiled on the details, don’t let me ruin it for you. Just go see it. ***** I did a thing a few weeks ago I have done a hundred times before. I sat down in the dark with a thousand strangers,…

Q: When is Sunday night like Saturday night? A: When Riley says she’ll try to get something done Saturday night. Get it? It’s a procrastination joke. So, first off, I made French toast for dinner. Two pieces of challah, loads of syrup. Nothing redeeming about it. Other than the fact that it was delicious. And…