7 Things I Simply Can’t Grasp (in Brief)

7 Things for April 22-28

There are many things in life that I don’t understand. There are only a few that I don’t even attempt to understand. Because I know that I will fail. Because they are really, really stupid.

7 – People Who Throw Away Pennies

Yes, pennies are only worth one cent. Pennies are still money.  And you only have to throw away so many before you’ve tossed an entire Timbit. Or a Trader Joe’s banana.

6 – Puppy-Kickers

Or baby killers. Or people who punch old ladies. What fucking brain malfunction infects these assholes?

5 – Ke$ha

At some point, even the dumbest record exec must realize when someone is just talking over music, right?

4 – NASCAR

The cars go around an oval track. Again. And again. And again. And again. Sometimes they wreck big. Mostly they wreck small. The wrecks are fiery and cinematic. But people sometimes die in them. And the rest of the time, it’s just lame. If people are waiting for the wrecks, why not go to demolition derbies?

3 – Why the US Doesn’t Have Mass Transit

There are developing countries with mass transit systems on par with the US. (To be honest, I do sort of understand this one. Capitalism explains it.)

2 – Christian Women Who Sincerely Believe They are Inferior to Men

I get where it comes from, of course. It’s Biblical and all that – as are so many bigoted, stupid notions – you know, if that interpretation is of use to you. But all kinds of horrendous shit has been done since the  human race began. Very little of it by women. If that’s inferiority, I guess I don’t understand the definition of the word. But, then again, we can blame man’s corruption on Eve. Or Lilith even. Oh, damn our early ancestors and their she-creature ways!

1 – Affairs That End in Marriage

If you lie to your partner to be with me, I will never trust you. If I lie to mine to be with you, you should never trust me. As my mother always said, “If they do it with you, they’ll do it to you.”