7 Things: Foods

Even cramming all seven of this weeks posts into one post, I still managed to be late by a day. Two, actually, since it’s now 2 am.

I’m going to blame it on Daylight Savings Time. In fact, I’ve decided to invent a disorder that causes some people to be uniquely affected by a time change, and diagnosis myself with said disorder.

Or I could just tell the truth, which is that the Nicholl Fellowship early deadline is on March 15th and I care about little else right now.

But, regardless of my lack of concern, I thought it was time to take a moment and do a somewhat-on-time post, so I don’t get behind by a week, which would make me crazy.

So, in keeping things simple, here’s a list of seven things I grew up eating that I’m under the impression most people didn’t by the look of intrigue or repulsion on their faces whenever I mention said foods. Well, a few of these foods. A couple of them aren’t as bizarre as just uncommon.

7 – Oyster crackers &… wait for it… butter

How disgusting is this? My grandma, who was very southern, and therefore put butter in pretty much everything, used to feed my sister and I this as a snack. A tiny little oyster cracker with a glob of butter about the same size as the cracker on top. It’s repulsive to think about, but, as a kid, that tiny heart attack was scrumptious.

6 – Cheese-on-a-stick

It’s cheese in corn dog batter. I’ve seen it several different places in recent years, but when I was young the only place where I ever got cheese-on-a-stick was at Cedar Point. And it was so freakin’ tasty.

A few years ago, I introduced Shawna to Cedar Point’s cheese-on-a-stick, and I’m happy to announce that it still tasted unnaturally good. So, apparently it wasn’t just youthful ‘I’ll-put-anything-in-my-mouth’ disorder that made it delightful.

While we are on the subject of Cedar Point, that’s also where I frequently got elephant ears. For those who don’t know, they are basically funnel cakes, but flat and in one big piece, so they hold less grease and are doughier inside. I was very shocked to discover that not everywhere has the elephant ear. They rely solely on the funnel cake.

Which is sad.

Because, if you’re gonna splurge, the elephant ear is more worth the calories and likely GMO ingredients.

5 – Rice with sugar and milk

Simple. Sugar and milk on rice. Sometimes cold rice. Sometimes warmish rice. This was one of my mom’s favorite snacks, and I sometimes make extra rice just to eat it in this manner. I don’t think it’s weird, but apparently some people do.

4 – Sugar waffles

Despite my praise of the elephant ear, it wasn’t my favorite fair treat. That would be the sugar waffle. This is not to be confused with the Belgian waffles popping up all over. I’m talking about the sugar waffles that look like this –

Like the elephant ear, I didn’t realize that sugar waffles were so regional. Yet, I’ve never see them anywhere outside of Ohio. Though, I’ve read that they do make the midway in New York.

3 – Sauerkraut Balls

The recipe for the sauerkraut balls we always ate on New Year’s came from the same grandma who served up the heart attack crackers. They took an incredible amount of work to make, which is probably why we had them exactly one time per year.

They had sauerkraut balls at the Texas State Fair when we popped over there, but they tasted nothing like the ones I grew up on.

Long live the old country.

Well, one of them.

And several generations past.

2 – Cream cheese and olive sandwich

Just how it sounds. Cream cheese on bread. With sliced green olives. White bread is least healthy, of course, but also best. It’s best untoasted. Soften the cream cheese before you spread. Try this if you have’t. You’ll thank me.

1 – PB and bacon

PB doesn’t go with jelly. Or bananas. It goes with bacon. I assure you this is fact.

Yes, it’s obviously terrible for you. As a child, people fed me many things that probably never should have been fed to anyone. But they did taste good.

The trick is to toast the bread lightly and PB both pieces. Then, the PB serves as bacon glue.

Now, who wants to share the “strange” things you ate growing up? Or tell me where I can find sugar waffles outside of Ohio?

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  1. We also did the oyster crackers and butter. Used saltines sometimes, too, and sometimes added grape jelly. LOL

    My mom LOVES elephant ears. They’re pretty great. And a kind of fast food mexican place here, Taco Via (my mom’s fave place) has things that are very similar to the sugar waffles you describe (or at least they used to), but I never knew what they were called. Loved them as a kid.

    1. Interesting. Like I said, I’ve literally never seen sugar waffles outside of Ohio. The last time I had an elephant ear was when Shawna and I went to Cedar Point as we were moving to California the last time. They make elephant ears so big they serve one on three paper plates. No lie. And we ate the entire thing.

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