aka Shawna’s Witty Holiday Retort

Sunday night we did a holiday get-together thing at my brother’s house. Food, gifts, regularly occurring homophobic jokes, that kind of thing.

Well… it can’t all be fun. Apparently.

Anyway, I was eating a piece of pumpkin pie my mom made and it was, like, super deliciouso. So I was sharing it with Shawna, but since I only had one fork that I wasn’t about to relinquish, I was feeding her bites. So, my brother-in-law is like, “Must be nice. I wish I had one of those.” And then Shawna says, “You got the old model. I got the new and improved version.” To which everyone in the room does the “oooooh” groan of smack talk, as if someone was about to be issued a beat down. Except for my sister and I, who were the only two people in the room to miss the punchline, because we were talking to each other like civilized people. Once the story was relayed to us, though, we both got a laugh, mine perhaps a bit more boisterous than hers.

The quip was untrue, but it was certainly a zinger.