Victoria’s Secret is having a sale on just about everything. Cords… Sweaters… Winter dresses… Girls. You know, the usual non-intimate Secret goods. If anyone’s in the market for any.

But here’s the issue. How do you have objectivity when on the Victoria’s Secret website? I try to see the clothes for the clothes, but the fact of the matter is that everything just looks better on Alessandra Ambrosio.

If you’ve ever wondered how conversations that begin “I can explain why I bought the bright purple plastic jumpsuit” happen, now you know.

In other news, I have been remiss in my reminding, so I do hope that everyone watched Better Off Ted last night. Yes, I know that it’s on ABC and they are notoriously douchy, but it is essential we support le goddess Portia and sitcoms that are actually funny.

Of course, if you are the type of person who doesn’t believe for a single instant that big corporations are ruthless, inhuman pits of hellish despair than Better Off Ted may not play to your sensibilities. And I’m kind of wondering how exactly I do.