I Would Rather Wear a Christmas Tree Skirt

Outside the house that I grew up in, there was this massive tree, one of the biggest I’ve ever seen in a residential neighborhood. The roots of that tree were so strong that they were intrusive. The two squares of sidewalk nearest the tree’s base sat at a seventy-degree angle against the trunk, and the…

Without the sexy pants. Other things I’ve learned this week: Minivans are the new station wagons. Super Bowl XLIV topped the Mash series finale as the most watched television broadcast of all time… supposedly. It doesn’t matter who beats you to the fitness room. They will always be watching a talk show. You should never…

1 – It’s time to get out of the shower, but instead of drying off you just stand there with the towel wrapped around you wishing you’d never gotten in in the first place. 2 – You wake up having to pee in the middle of the night and really consider just peeing the bed….

Ah, the drafts saved in my dashboard right now, waiting to be written. Such a number of things have made me groan of late that I’ve started and stopped mid many a rant. Then, they pile up and I get stressed out by my own procrastination, and I want to delete my page and go…