How to Know When it is Officially “Winter Cold” Out
1 – It’s time to get out of the shower, but instead of drying off you just stand there with the towel wrapped around you wishing you’d never gotten in in the first place.
2 – You wake up having to pee in the middle of the night and really consider just peeing the bed.
3 – You put extra blankets on the bed – between the sheets.
4 – You hug relatives that you were dreading seeing just for the momentary warmth.
5 – You wonder how three of your sweaters would look layered.
6 – Every time you make a salad, someone in your household utters the phrase, “I wish we’d eaten something warm.”
7 – Everything that you bake takes longer than usual, because someone keeps sneaking the oven open for a few seconds at a time to “warm their hands.”
8 – Someone offers you sex and you respond, “Well, alright, but just over-the-clothes stuff.”
You seriously, seriously consider calling in sick to work because it is too cold in your apartment to get out of bed.
Oh no, Rev! But, yes indeed, this fits the bill.