Please Join Me on the Dark Side

Outside the house that I grew up in, there was this massive tree, one of the biggest I’ve ever seen in a residential neighborhood. The roots of that tree were so strong that they were intrusive. The two squares of sidewalk nearest the tree’s base sat at a seventy-degree angle against the trunk, and the…

Here’s what I’m thinking. Waterboarding is very bad. Simulating drowning IS torture, no matter what our backward government has to say about it. So, then how are we supposed to get the terrorists to talk? I’ll tell you how. Implement the Dolphin Plank Pose. Here’s how it works. A small wooden board covers the ground….

Without the sexy pants. Other things I’ve learned this week: Minivans are the new station wagons. Super Bowl XLIV topped the Mash series finale as the most watched television broadcast of all time… supposedly. It doesn’t matter who beats you to the fitness room. They will always be watching a talk show. You should never…

Facebook Status Update Provides Alibi I’m not saying that anyone here is lying. But calling this a “rock-solid” alibi is hardly accurate. I guess what I’m saying is, if any of you are planning on committing a crime anytime soon, just shoot me the date and time of your impending law-breakin’ and your Facebook password…