I Feel Like I Just Took a Wrong Turn into a Stephen King Novel

Turn away Twilight fans or you shall hate me for all of eternity. I was just on IMDB and they do those little trivia bits on the front page. That’s how I ended up on the Twilight trivia page, where I found this – “Stephenie Meyer claims these authors partially inspired her: Jane Austen, Orson…

You know those bags of vegetables that you can buy in the freezer section at the store? The kind that you can cook right in the bag that they come in? Now, that’s convenience. So, I just thought I’d make myself some green beans. That’s all. I had no intention beyond consumption of the healthy,…

We are no longer in California. Nor have we arrived at our new home. We are in moving limbo. As you crave my pain, this is a story I can’t wait to share with you. This is a story so terrifying, you will hide behind your hands and bite your nails down to the nubs….

I’m terribly sorry that you are facing a 24 million bride shortage by 2020. I’m sorry that your one-child law backfired. I’m sorry that parents would rather have male children and, therefore, negate any attempts at baby-making that produce shorties with vaginas. I’m sorry that your young men are going to be forced to marry…