I Feel Like I Just Took a Wrong Turn into a Stephen King Novel

You know those bags of vegetables that you can buy in the freezer section at the store? The kind that you can cook right in the bag that they come in? Now, that’s convenience. So, I just thought I’d make myself some green beans. That’s all. I had no intention beyond consumption of the healthy,…

Those of you who are my co-Twitterers might recall from a few weeks ago that the IRS thinks I owe them a substantial chunk of change. One reason for this is a failure to do some basic research. The other reason is because they are confused by the gay. Here’s how I told them that…

I’m terribly sorry that you are facing a 24 million bride shortage by 2020. I’m sorry that your one-child law backfired. I’m sorry that parents would rather have male children and, therefore, negate any attempts at baby-making that produce shorties with vaginas. I’m sorry that your young men are going to be forced to marry…