A little while ago I went pee-pee in a moderately frightening gas station. I say moderately because it wasn’t as frightening as the gas station that one time that we drove three miles off the road in nowhere, Virginia and ended up in a gas station where there was a peep hole in the door that had to be stuffed with toilet paper. Anyway, what this station lacked in creepy clerks, it made up in sound effects. It had one of those ding-dong electronic entrance sounds, but it was all distorted and crackly and sounded kind of like “Come in… and die.”

Someone had kindly left a warning for the neon tiger in my bathroom stall. I’m certain the phrase is from something other than someone’s imaginative brain, but since I have no idea what, I found it rather random and confusing. I also found the full-length mirror on the back of the stall door rather perplexing. I could think of only one thing that you could be doing in there that you would want to watch yourself doing. So I went ahead and did that. But there was no applause, so either I was wrong or I just didn’t do it very well.

Before we reached the scary restroom stop, we passed through Vega, Texas. On the way, there were several billboards inviting you to stop in Vega. One of them said “A great place to park your house.” I couldn’t decide if this was an endorsement or a warning.

And one more thing -

How do you get a pig to refuse to come to dinner?

Invite him to a barbecue.

This was on a series of roadside signs. I think it’s supposed to be a joke.