ss_blog_claim=a8e174585f7b16f92bf3b2e4202a5b04

Random Riley

riley writes…

-->

Dance Your Cares Away *clap clap*



I Hear You Can Build a Makeshift Garage Out of Toothpicks

August 27th, 2010 by Riley

So, if your car is parked in your driveway, it has no expectation of privacy. Oh, and neither do you. Which is why the government can put a GPS tracking device on your vehicle and follow your every move. Or, so says the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, which coincidentally covers the state to which I am about to move, leaving me ill at ease.

Not that the government should have any reason to track me. Other than the fact that I think they are all idiots.

I would have invoked 1984 in my ‘our government sucks’ argument, but both the reporter and a judge already did it for me.

And, uh, this song makes me laugh and has been running through my head for days (lots of “fuckas,” so NSFW) —> Everyday Normal Guy

More Than One Moral Dilemma

August 25th, 2010 by Riley

Moral Dilemma 1: Eyelash Wishing

The other day I found an eyelash. But it was on Shawna’s cheek. So, I told her that she had a wish. Then, she told me that I had a wish because I found it. And I said that it was her wish, because it was her eyelash.

Does anyone know the rules on eyelash wishing? Is this why my eyelash wishes never come true?

Moral Dilemma 2: Fitness Center Etiquette

Which is ruder? Not wanting to talk to people when you are working out, or them trying to talk to you while you are trying to work out?

Today, a woman who always feels the need to chitchat walked into the fitness center while I was on the treadmill and Shawna was doing weights. I glanced at her as the door opened and immediately averted my eyes, because I’ve learned from experience that smiling at this woman is an invitation to converse, even when it isn’t. So, she went over to the weight machine and started talking to Shawna, who answered her questions in one-word answers, because she was lifting 60 pounds with her leg at the time.

After a few questions with clipped answers, the woman told Shawna that she wasn’t very friendly, because she was trying to talk to her and Shawna wasn’t responding. Then, she said that no one here was very friendly, so Shawna replied that maybe they were trying to concentrate, like she was. The woman got huffy and went to the exercise bike instead.

I know that there are a lot of lonely people in the world, and I think that’s sad, and if someone starts talking to me on an airplane or in line at a grocery store, or even falls into stride beside me on my way home from work one evening to tell me all about the cell phone conversation with their ex-girlfriend that they just had (true story), that’s all very well and good.

But there are just some places and times when people shouldn’t try to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

Examples

~ If you are sitting next to someone on an airplane and they are reading or working on a laptop. (It may be recreational, or they may be studying for a huge exam that they have to take the moment you land. You can usually tell this by how desperately the person wants you to shut up.)

~ If you are in a stall in a public restroom. (Exception if your stall is out of toilet paper. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. But don’t be surprised if the person in the next stall doesn’t care that you have to drip dry.)

~ If you are walking on a flat treadmill at 2 mph and the person beside you is running 7 mph on a 5% incline.

In these instances, is the person who doesn’t respond, or who doesn’t respond joyfully and with enthusiasm, really being rude?

PS - Shawna said that Canadians are too polite to tell me how jealous they really are about my date with Wendy Crewson. I say this is a stereotype, and Canadians can be just as vile as the rest of us. Don’t you worry, I got your backs.

Have a Funky Fresh Weekend with Hampton

August 25th, 2010 by Riley

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Hampton Hotels. All opinions are 100% mine.

Want to go crazy in a hotel with hundreds of your closest compatriots? Hampton has got you covered. The Hampton hotel company is not only giving away free weekend stays on a daily basis a hundred days in a row, they are actually giving away one hundred rooms for a two day stay to one top prize winner. And, to cover the price of the taxes on all that rooms, you’ll also get $5000. Oh, and those rooms can be in a Hampton hotel in nearly any city. That means, you can plan a weekend wedding, have a weekend convention, pick up the lodging tab on your family reunion, or have the most rocking weekend getaway ever with all of your best buds. Sound good? If so, check out the Hampton Chain of Friends Sweepstakes. Anyone from the United States, Canada (with the exception of Quebec), Mexico or the UK can enter the Hampton Chain of Friends Sweepstakes by booking a Hampton hotel room on the Hampton site any time between now and September 4th. So, if you want a shot at taking over almost an entire Hampton hotel for a weekend for fun and frivolity, book a room with Hampton soon.

Click Here
Hampton_logo
Visit my sponsor: Chain-of-Friends Grand Prize

Don’t Swallow the Skewer

August 25th, 2010 by Riley

Good News. The FDA’s super smellers have declared Gulf seafood safe for eating.

Because it doesn’t smell stinky.

Well, it does, but only as stinky as seafood is supposed to smell.

In other news, the Louisiana Environmental Action Network discovered an island of dead sea birds, some decomposing, some newly dead, off the Louisiana coast.

Hmm… wonder what they were eating.

Spend a Weekend with Hampton

August 25th, 2010 by Riley

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Hampton Hotels. All opinions are 100% mine.

Want a free weekend stay in a Hampton hotel? Why wouldn’t you? Get away from work, from home, drop the kids on your parents’ doorstep and remember what it feels like to go to bed late and have a morning lie in. You can get out of town with your friends for a whirlwind vacation, or just spend a couple of days reconnecting at a Hampton hotel near you. For instance, I might spend my weekend at a Hampton in New York and take in a couple of sows, and then my friend Chauncy could crash at my temporary pad after she gets off work. Then, I could tickle her feet with a feather while she tries to sleep and capture it on video for YouTube.

Anyway, if you would like to get away from it all for just a couple of days, or just have a room to engage in some friendly torture with one of your besties, you can enter to win a free weekend on the Hampton website. The free weekend sweepstakes is called the Hampton Chain of Friends Sweepstakes and Hampton is giving away one weekend stay per day. Then, some lucky winner will get the grand prize of 100 Hampton rooms for an entire weekend. All you have to do to enter is book your room on the Hampton website and enter “FRIEND” in the promotion code box.

Click Here
Hampton_logo
Visit my sponsor: Win a free Weekend Stay

Oh My Gods of Music

August 24th, 2010 by Riley

I thought that Redhead on stage was good news. I thought that Wendy Crewson on stage was good news.

But this - THIS - may be the best news in entertainment news history.

Wait for it…

Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah are making a musical together.

Is everyone okay? Any injuries when you simultaneously passed out in orgiastic musical ecstasy?

Here’s the story —> Story

Feel free to weep with joy until it hits theaters next year. From the title, I’m guessing sometime around Christmas.

Wendy Crewson on Stage

August 23rd, 2010 by Riley

Okay, Canadians and people with good taste, prepare to be jealous.

I don’t know why I didn’t know this already, but Shawna was trying to find Wendy Crewson on Facebook - because who the hell wouldn’t? - and discovered that Wendy is on stage right now in Toronto in Love, Loss and What I Wore.

Can you believe it?

I’m sure that you can, but I couldn’t. And Shawna was so shocked by the news, she did a crazy half-run, half-dance thing through the apartment.

Again - who wouldn’t?

So, yeah, that’s definitely happening. Which is why we’ll find ourselves in Toronto in a week. And I will be seeing my second… or third (it fluctuates depending on what I just watched)… favorite actress in the whole wide world on stage. Sweet!

Oh, and Margot Kidder is in it too. Lois Lane? Whaaaaat? Yeah, seriously.

And, for the Palex fans, Lauren Collins is also in the cast. Not my favorite half of the Paige/Alex duo, so doesn’t add much for me. But it’s still kind of fun.

Wendy Crewson is a goddess.

That is all.

« Previous Entries Next Entries »