May 31st, 2007 Riley
When I am wealthy, I am going to be a total slut, and it’s going to be awesome. What an apt word the latin is in this case, because I do indeed agree that rolling around with greased-up hotties is the absolute definition of luxury. Who needs cars or accessories when you can have as many breasts around as you desire?
Lust, of course, that is the sin we are diving into today, and what a fabulous sin it is. If not for lust, there wouldn’t be babies, and if not for babies, there wouldn’t be that fabulous new baby smell.
Speaking of lust -
You know what really irks me about pageants like Miss Universe? It’s not the degradation or sexism. Who cares about that? It’s the fact that they parade seventy-seven, about half of them fairly hot, chics before me, and then immediately cut down to fifteen and drop most of the really hot ones before the competition even begins. That’s just freaking cruel. How am I supposed to pay attention during the bikini show… Oh, I’m sorry, the “Swimsuit Competition”… when all I can think about is the fact that there are sixty-two confident, uninhibited girls that I don’t get to see half-naked?
I watched the Miss Universe Pageant on Monday. I’m only slightly ashamed of it. Mostly I’m just aggravated. I hate that I am furthering Donald Trump’s career, but until I have the money to buy my own girls, I have no choice but to use his. They were wrong, wrong, wrong the vast majority of the time. The fact that Miss Georgia didn’t make the top fifteen, and that Misses Mexico and India were both cut before the top five were tragedies of cosmic-pageant proportions. There were other slighted babes as well, but don’t worry, you can find them all here: http://www.jijasali.com/gallery.php?contest=miss+universe+2007.
Praise the unlimited power of the internet to bring freshly-squeezed girls into my home on a regular basis, and don’t forget… The Internet is For Porn!
Posted in Sinning is Fun | No Comments »
May 14th, 2007 Riley
In honor of yet another day of feeling that time is ticking by faster than I can utilize it and get those things that I want to accomplish accomplished, let us dream of impending days of inactivity.
Once I find success, there will be days when I will be completely lazy. I will wear a flowy white skirt and walk the beaches of the Mediterranean. I will sit on my balcony overlooking the Côte d’Azur with a steaming Café au lait. I will hang out all evening along the Costa del Sol, munching tapas and drinking Sangria. It is my definite intention to become an alcoholic and a caffeine-addict during my long periods of idleness.
Posted in Sinning is Fun, Uncategorized | No Comments »
May 8th, 2007 Riley
Otherwise known as GREED for we laypeople.
I must sell a screenplay. I must do it before Shawna. So, in an effort to inspire myself to greatness, here is a list of completely unnecessary material possessions that I would acquire should I ever have any money.
Degrassi: The Next Generation (Seasons 4 & 5… and Season 6, as soon as it becomes available) – I admit it. I have fallen hard for Palex. And I have stopped trying to resist the charm of Deanna Casaluce. Honestly, why would one try? àhttp://www.deannacasaluce.ca/
Car: the Chevy Equinox. Yes, I will take one, thank you. We got a free upgrade to one of these on a trip to LA last year, and it was a surprisingly smooth ride. More importantly, it had a little built-in net that was intended for an atlas or something, but that fit my writing tablet as if it were made for it. That tiny piece of netting totally took it from a car to a freaking piece of heaven on four wheels.
Car: the 240sx sitting in Shawna’s ‘rents driveway. We borrowed the money from her dad to buy the car. Then we sold it back to him. If I had the money to, I would be willing to buy it back for more than he paid for it. I hate to say this about something as trivial as a vehicle, but damn that green is pretty. The real reason I would drop a dime on it though is that it corners like a race car. Save for those sneaky cops and Sunday drivers, I’m convinced this car could drive the length of the Pennsylvania Turnpike in roughly forty minutes.
Guitars. I like them. I am amazed by how the same instruments can sound so very different from each other. I would like to have more than I have, and would buy more if I could afford it. I’d like a bass and a violin too. And I wanna learn to play a bodhran like the guy who is playing with Kathy Mattea on her tour. Guess that means I need one of those too. Oh, and I would kill for a box drum. Only not really. That’s why I need the money.
Of course, I would make all of these purchases after doing some tithing. You give to church, you say. Of course not, I say in return. I am talking about the only good kind of tithing there is, giving to charity. And I am not just saying that to make myself seem like a better person than I am. I know I suck. But I also know that there is no way in hell I could enjoy my Degrassi when I know about all of the horrors that are taking place all over the world. What’s up with Africa? Seriously, genocide and drought at the same time? Could we get them a little help here? I read the other day that they (meaning experts of course) blame the dearth of food and water in Africa not only on the higher temperatures, but also improper irrigation techniques. So why exactly are so many countries wasting so much of their money on war instead of sending some scientists in to help Africa irrigate? I’m just saying.
Posted in Screenplay contest, Sinning is Fun | No Comments »
