May 8th, 2008 Riley
Halfpint brought a rumor to my attention, and here is what I know in regards to it.
According to E! online, their sources do report that Women’s Murder Club has been cancelled and that Eli Stone has been renewed. That’s the rumor. The facts I know that do lead me to believe this may be true are thus:
A while ago, I read a Hollywood Reporter story that said if Eli Stone was renewed, Women’s Murder Club likely wouldn’t be. Now, while Eli Stone’s ratings are lower than Women’s Murder Club’s in the same time slot, it was also reported that network execs like Eli Stone, and as much as that shouldn’t have anything to do with anything, we all know that it does.
Women’s Murder Club hasn’t been doing poorly in the ratings on Tuesday nights. It has, however, retained less than fifty percent of its lead-in audience. The first week back, the retention at the half hour mark wasn’t good either. That’s never a good thing.
ABC is supposed to announce their fall lineup on Tuesday of next week, which means that the last ep of the season isn’t even going to factor into their decision. So, it’s very possible that they have made this decision already.
However, as of now, it hasn’t been released officially. Before it is, if you are moved to make an effort -
This is ABC’s phone number to leave comments on their shows.
1-818-460-7477
It is an automated system.
Press 2 to leave comments.
Press 3 for Primetime menu.
WMC is #965.
You get thirty seconds per message, but you can call back as often as you would like 
Or how about emailing some peeps?
Stephen McPherson, ABC Entertainment President
stephen.mcpherson@abc.com
Anne Sweeney, Co-Chair Disney Media Networks and President, Disney-ABC Television Group
anne.sweeney@disney.com
Go Team!
Posted in My Favorite Things | 7 Comments »
May 7th, 2008 Riley
BEWARE OF SPOILAGE AHEAD! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED ON WMC.
Wow. Talk about your fair share of suckage.
I was as dismayed as many of you over this episode. The gf actually said that she didn’t even care if it came back next season after this! Do you see what we have been reduced to. Treason in my own home!!
So, totally immature fact… I didn’t even watch the scene. I think you know which scene I am talking about. I couldn’t do it. As soon as Lindsay uttered the ridiculous, “I wanted this to be special,” I turned my head. I, literally, couldn’t watch it. I am now referring to it as the most timely fade to black in all of history.
First things first, and I’m always going to go there first when it’s this bad, could the writing have sucked any harder? Seriously could it? I think not. The only thing that did come out of this episode is that there were small moments for all ’shippers. Except for poor Claire. She’s just never going to get any from her club cohorts, is she? So unfair. I mean, Claire’s a hottie.
Clearly, the whole thing about making this a more Lindsay-centric, non-club show was right on the money. Why do they even have the other characters if that’s how much they are going to use them?
And it doesn’t help that this week’s ep and last week’s ep seem like two entirely different shows.
Now, to the big event.
If you are going to shoot a main character, you must have time to dedicate to it. You can’t just say, “Bang.” “She’s okay.” “I don’t remember anything.” And, yes, both Lindsay and Claire walking out of that room was not only out-of-character, but just plain shitty. They wouldn’t have. Especially Claire. This is the kind of support Cindy gets from her friends after being shot? I’m thinking maybe Cindy should have rushed another sorority.
And it irked me when she said parents as well. Continuity people, it’s not just a ten-letter word that starts with a ‘c’. Hmm. Though it is that too. Indeed, Cindy’s father is dead. She made a big deal about it. (And even if her mom remarried, my mom remarried when I was eight and never once in my life did I refer to her and my stepfather as my parents.) We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that all of the pain medication made her forgetful.
I did like Lindsay’s rush down the steps to Cindy, the touching, et al, but when she left her at the hospital that first time to go to the police station, I knew that we were going to totally get the shaft. Of course, I didn’t know just how shafted we would get.
I’m just going to say it. Lindsay Boxer… you’re kind of a bitch.
Posted in My Favorite Things | 10 Comments »
May 6th, 2008 Riley
Well that was unfortunate.
Posted in My Favorite Things | 7 Comments »
May 6th, 2008 Riley
Countdown. 43 minutes. I am embarrassingly stoked.
So, knowing as I do what is supposed to happen, yet not wanting to give anything away to those people who don’t know, let me just say this…
I am hoping for hand-holding, a head rub, and a long, emotional gaze.
My girlfriend is hoping for mouth-to-mouth.
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April 30th, 2008 Riley
I SHALL SPOIL! THEE HAVE BEEN WARNED
Women’s Murder Club returned to ABC’s lineup yesterday, and, I’m happy to report, the HoYay continues. It started early, right after the completely unnecessary Boxer-driving-fast lead-in. Now, I’m sure that some of you found Lindsay speeding through traffic in her SUV a super turn-on. That’s fine. It doesn’t change the fact that it didn’t, in any way, advance the story and shots like that are expensive. Cut costs where you can, WMC. You aren’t helping yourselves by busting the budget.
Anyway, back to planet sex appeal.
Lindsay gets to the crime scene. We find that there has clearly been an advance in their relationship as Lindsay actually lifts the tape to let Cindy onto the crime scene. This unlikely happening foreshadows the later unlikely happening of Lindsay involving Cindy in a police tactical maneuver. Clearly, a lot has changed in four months. It’s a good change. During this exchange, we get our first sexually-charged banter.
LINDSAY: I thought you were reading Eat Pray Love.
CINDY: I thought you were watching Atonement.
The Unspoken Here Went Thusly:
LINDSAY: You do realize we are talking about the lack of romance in our lives while standing very close with huge smiles on our faces.
CINDY: I want to jump you so bad.
Then, they have to bolt and they RUN to the car together. This, in itself, was a site to behold. I will watch… often… with wide eyes and a tickle in my heart.
Later, at the new coffee cart, which is a place they apparently love more than anything else on earth (what, did the diner burn down, and this is all they’ve got left?), they LIE to Cindy. Never do this. This is a bad idea. Now, one thing of note here is the fact that Cindy paid, and then later, after they all have a spat due to this lie that they told Cindy, Lindsay goes to the cart and has no money and says that she never does this. That’s so sweet. Her girlfriend buys her coffee every single time? Who needs Eat Pray Love and Atonement? Lindsay and Cindy know romantic gestures.
Okay, so due to this spat, which showed us an angry Cindy (when she slammed that copy machine shut, was anyone else like *ROWR*? Maybe it was just me), Lindsay wants to make it up to her, so she lets her tag along to a hostage situation. Like I mentioned before, we have come a LONG way in four months.
So, of course, they are in desperate need of a decoy, and a cop-like person won’t suffice, and some people are going to die if they don’t do something quick, so our brave little redhead is all like - I’ll do it. Let me do it. I must do it. I must save the innocent. - and Lindsay is all overprotective like she always is when it comes to Cindy.
The Unspoken Here Went Thusly:
LINDSAY: Listen, until I find someone else who can do that thing with their tongue, I am not about to put you in harm’s way.
CINDY: People could die. You know, it’s a little more important than your supreme sexual satisfaction.
LINDSAY: Not to me!
CINDY: You won’t think it’s sexy? If I do this little hero thing, it won’t turn your crank?
LINDSAY: Will you wear a cape for me later?
CINDY: With nothing else.
LINDSAY: Fine. Dammit.
So, Cindy gets her way and Lindsay is telling her what to do, leading her toward the house, with one hand ever-present on her back, and I go *THUMP* and hit my head on the floor. Then, Cindy jogs across to the house and Lindsay watches her go with a longing, “return to me, baby” look.
The day gets saved thanks to Super Cindy, and Lindsay goes to her immediately, and Cindy is lying on the porch, repeating “I’m a pancake. I’m a pancake,” because that’s what Lindsay told her to be and covering her head with her hands. (This whole I’m a pancake thing resulted in my girlfriend making a delightful quip later about a double-stack. God, you’ve gotta love a quick and witty chic.) Lindsay compliments her little pancake on a job well done and helps her up, and it’s all so very sweet that I swoon and turn off my TV before I have to see Boxer plucked up and placed back into hetero world.
Other thoughts:
Lindsay did have one moment with Jill. I’ll give those ’shippers that, but just one, and it didn’t have the zing of Lindsay/Cindy.
Lindsay’s guy… okay. But does every love interest ever have to be a super suave and successful person? Just once, I would like to see a popular character fall head over heels for someone that no friend would ever be jealous of, someone they actually cringe when they see, someone that makes them ask “why?” I’m just sayin’.
There was some seriously BAD dialogue on this episode. It’s happened before, but there were some special instances last night.
That’s all I have for now… or at least all the time I have for now.
All in all, it brought a smile. Now, don’t be douches and cancel it, ABC!
Posted in My Favorite Things | 9 Comments »
April 28th, 2008 Riley
WARNING: If you have not read anything about the return of WMC, there may be a small spoiler within.
Now seriously… Do not remain silent on this people! Proclaim it loudly. We are GLAD to have our girls back. And it sounds like there is some potential that we may even be GLAAD. *Wink Wink* Of course, it won’t be my pairing of choice, or of my late night flights of fancy, but I’ve learned to take the touch of Sappho where I can get it in mainstream entertainment.
In all of my excitement though, I retain an element of concern. ABC still hasn’t renewed Women’s Murder Club for next season. Rumor has it, the cast and crew are looking for other work. This is do or die now. These three eps must receive a downright spectacular response. Because I desperately need to keep Lindsay, Cindy, and their smoldering sexual chemistry in my life, I’ve been brainstorming ways to make sure ABC gets what it needs in order to deliver us a second season. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.
Recording Counts
Did you know there doesn’t have to be immediate show watching involved to score great ratings? It’s true. Recording counts in the Nielsens. So, if you know a Nielsen family, ask them to Tivo or old school VCR it for you. By Nielsen family, I am referring to one of those chosen homes that gets the little box, aka The Grail, that monitors their every small screen inclination, not just any ole family named Nielsen. I mean, you can ask the Nielsens for their assistance if you really want to, but it will have zero effect on WMC’s outcome. Nation, we must think big picture here.
If you don’t know your Nielsen (box) family well enough to beg favors, pay them… under the table… tax free! It’ll be worth it when ABC announces season 2!
How much should you offer? If you have to ask that question, then, trust me, you are not offering enough. How much is it worth to you?
Some things to keep in mind when determining this figure:
Lindsay’s overprotective streak and rampant Jamie Galvan jealousy.
Cindy’s blatant puppy love.
Cindy to Lindsay: “Who’s ready for a hand and foot fantasy?”
Lindsay to Cindy: “There is no way that you are going running around in random groups of men…”
Cindy to Lindsay: “Would you just shut up and let me be here for you?”
Lindsay to Cindy: “If we are going to have a relationship…”
Not the mention the LOOKS. I swear sometimes Angie and Aubrey’s eyes go places that porn is afraid to go. Me likey.
Of course, the likelihood that you know a Nielsen family is slim to none. I have become rather aware of the fact that Nielsen boxes go only to douche households. Since you read my page, you are clearly not a member of a douche household, nor would you ever associate with members of a douche household.
Good for you. Bad for Women’s Murder Club.
Be the Fantasy
If you happen to be a Nielsen family, first of all, I was totally playin’ you with that whole ‘douche’ thing. I just didn’t want the natives to get restless, what with the extreme envy they would feel over your elevated position in society as an important pop culture decision-maker. Bully for you, sincerely. It’s amazing what you’ve managed to accomplish in your young life. So on, so forth, suck up, suck up, suck up.
Okay, so if you do have television decision-making power of household, you must make that household work for us. It’s not enough to just watch WMC, you must offer those demographics that advertisers are jonesing for. So, let your house be a temporary refuge for your sister’s troubled teens. Take an age-range (roughly 18-30) appropriate lover. Or three. Turn your beautiful country home into a frat house.
“Hi-ho there, Nielsen people. I just wanted to let you know, I have ten eighteen to twenty-two year old single males living here now that have expendable income, zero willpower, like to spend on beer and Judd Apatow movies, and just can’t get enough Women’s Murder Club.”
It seems my most cringe-inducing nightmare is the network and advertisers’ wet dream.
Provide them the fantasy.
Decimate SVU (in a simple two-part plan)
Part 1: Go onto any message board where Law & Order: SVU watchers lurk and post that tomorrow’s “very special” episode had been postponed. Make up a reason. Be merciless.
Robin Williams? Yeah, it’s alleged that he ate a puppy while on set. They won’t air the episode until the investigation is complete.
Feel no guilt. Take no prisoners. This is war. There will be casualties. That’s right, I’m talking to you, Ice-T.
Part 2: Those of you who watch SVU must abandon it for WMC. I know this might be difficult for some of you. Why? When lately has SVU been the least bit bearable? Let me help. It’s been a while. And please keep in mind, you don’t have to watch SVU, because just like the original Law & Order, SVU is going to be available for you to watch in syndication for all of eternity.
Threaten them with Sharpton
The reverend loves a worthy cause and a good protest. He’s kind of busy in New York right now, but I say, when that dust has settled, we chip in, fly Al Sharpton first-class to LA, and set him up outside the ABC executive offices.
I know a lot of people like to poke fun at the good reverend, act like he’s nothing but a voice box, but everyone really knows that Sharpton is downright fearsome. He don’t play. When Al’s behind a cause, you best recognize.
For now, that’s all I got. Any ideas?
Posted in My Favorite Things | 9 Comments »
April 15th, 2008 Riley
I like to keep a reasonable balance in my life. In accordance with that, I would just like to say a big Happy Birthday to Hermione. For the past several years, April 15th has not represented tax day for me. I always get money back, so my tax day comes far earlier in the year.
April 15th wasn’t created for the IRS! April 15th was created so that this could be born:
And it was.
Today is especially exciting though, because today is Emma’s 18th birthday.
That’s right. She’s now legal in both of our countries.
Cheers!
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April 9th, 2008 Riley
Mark your calendars. July 15, 2008. Not one… not two… but three of my favorite things in one fun-filled package.
As one of the most requested shows not yet released to the public (hmm, wonder where Designing Women falls on that list), the short-lived babe superhero show Birds of Prey is finally being released on DVD. Yes, once again, corporate America proves its competence by taking only six years to respond to popular demand. The DVD will have all 13 episodes AND special features.
And did I mention Dina Meyer?
And subtext?
Seriously, for those of you who enjoy the good ole girl-on-girl wink-wink, this show has it in spades. So, if you missed it when it was on the WB way the fuck back in 2002, and considering how long it lasted, if you stopped at the bathroom on the way to the TV you probably missed it, now is your chance to find out where all of that femslash stems from.
It will also be a good chance for me to replace the bootleg DVDs that are probably illegal, and that I, therefore, never would have purchased from a comic book convention with real ones where the sound isn’t off and it isn’t like watching old school kung fu.
Posted in My Favorite Things | 2 Comments »
April 4th, 2008 Riley
Sometimes I think life is just a string of strange moments.
One day last week as I was heading off to hell… er… work, there was this little stuffed bear sitting on the stairs of my apartment building. Where did it come from? Why was it sitting there all three inches tall and cuddly? Was there some little kid somewhere missing it? These were my questions.
Then I had a tired day, one of those where you just kind of sit there staring into space, because having a thought is way too much effort. So, I took a twenty minute power nap. This wasn’t really bizarre, but, since I never, ever take naps, it felt bizarre.
Earlier this week, I actually got up on time one morning. This, in and of itself, is a remarkable phenomenon. Since I had extra time, I thought I would do some yoga in the morning instead of the afternoon. That way I could get started on my unhealthy habit of three early evening cups of coffee more promptly upon my return from work. So, I go to my TV and Exercise-on-demand decides it doesn’t want to work that early in the morning, preventing me from completing my early morning workout mission. This has a deeper meaning, I’m pretty sure. I just haven’t figured out exactly what that is yet.
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March 22nd, 2008 Riley
Let me buffer this by saying that this idea was stolen from another site that I happened upon. I would credit, but I don’t remember where I saw it. And, to be fair, as much as I’m sure he would like to (who wouldn’t?), the owner of the site in question does not own the women of Law & Order. They belong to all of us.
So, here is my official ranking of the ADAs of Law & Order, in order of increasing hotness, from “not so” to “day-um”.
6. Carey Lowell
I really hate it when people say nasty things about celebrities on the internet with a complete disregard for the fact that the person is human and has feelings. With that in mind, let me just say that Carey Lowell does nothing for me. In personality, in appearance, in character, in acting style. Nothing. I won’t even watch the episodes she’s in.
5. Jill Hennessy
It hurts me to put Jill second to last in any list, and, rest assured, this is the only list where you will ever see it, but Jill has definitely grown into her hotness. It happens. On Law & Order, never really came to love her. Then again, it could have been the hair, which was truly unfortunate, though it actually looks kind of nice in the picture above. Mmm, shiny.
4. Elisabeth Rohm
She has her moments. She does. Just because I groan every time I am watching my L & O marathon on TNT and see her name come up doesn’t mean I hate her. It’s just because they usually show a Rohm episode following this list’s number one, and it’s kind of a hard act to follow… which is probably why Rohm never found ground on the show in the first place
If this list were based on anything other than sheer hotness, Jill and Elisabeth would swap places. By hot factor only, though, their numbers stand.
3. Annie Parisse
She was number two for the longest time, but now that the newest ADA’s hair has grown out, poor Annie’s been bumped. The little things can make all of the difference. As the wardrobe people clearly realized, her most flattering color is green. “She’s wearing green!” is a well-used phrase in our household when there is a Parisse ep on.
2. Alana De La Garza
There is no getting around it. She’s freakin’ hot. She’s been hot ever since she appeared on All My Children at the same time that Bianca was discovering her sexuality. (I had a very deep-seated desire for that hook up.)
Bonus: No matter which male character they decide to have her sleep with on the show, it will be a helluva step up from her CSI: Miami gig of playing David Caruso’s love interest. *Ring-ring* Reality police, line one.
1. Angie Harmon
Duh. Her virtues are totally obvious. I’ll extol them anyway. She’s sexy as hell, she’s a good actress, Abbie Carmichael was the strongest character of all the ADAs, and that voice is what the best kind of sin sounds like.
To illustrate, an embarrassing story about myself…
One day, a couple of years ago, I was enjoying a Law & Order marathon., as I am prone to do. I was also enjoying a bowl of frozen fruit. I had a very large strawberry in my mouth and Angie was on the screen, all sexy and confident, doing her thing. Then, she said something, I can’t even remember what it was. The words were irrelevant. It was the tone of her voice. And pop, the strawberry flies right out of my mouth and into my bowl.
Strawberry-popping power - thus is the power that Angie Harmon possesses.
While this list is, by its very nature, correct, feel free to agree or disagree as you so desire.
Posted in My Favorite Things | 16 Comments »
