May 8th, 2008 Riley
“There is nothing like a dame, nothin’ in the world
There is nothing you can name that is anything like a dame”
Indeed.
And Dame Helen Mirren is damn hot.
There is something utterly regal and classy about her. (As a regal and classy person myself, I respond to that. Heh.) She’s also uber-talented. Did I mention she’s hot… which, for the purpose of this list, is all that really matters.
We also share the same birthday, which makes us kinda-sorta soul sistas. Mm hm. I feel kindred. I do. She’s like my sexy older twin who got all the good parts. Oh, and that I want to sleep with.
Posted in 40 Hotties Over 40 | 5 Comments »
May 6th, 2008 Riley
Listen up, one of the first supermodels to ever walk the earth…
…you owe my girlfriend a card, because without her you wouldn’t have made the list. You see, when I was still struggling to get to forty hot biotches, you were mentioned… not by me. I kind of railed against you, I’m not going to lie. It’s not that I don’t think you’re hot. You are, and you are the best kind of hot, because, while I never found you particularly attractive during your younger, more popular days, in the past couple of years, you have been a blip on the radar (a small blip, but a blip none-the-less). But I take issue with hot people whose main purpose on earth is being hot. That’s right, I’m prejudiced against models. It’s not one of my finer traits, but it’s the truth. Plus, you use Botox. I consider that cheating!
Anyway, if you are wondering why someone who didn’t even make the list without some prodding is coming in at #32, that’s just me. I promise this list will be enjoyable. I never said it would make sense.
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May 1st, 2008 Riley
Amnesia. Ninja Turtles. Trashy lingerie. (No really, that’s the name of the company.) Is there anything about Julie Strain that isn’t downright intriguing?
Not to mention she’s the only porn star to make my list.
From appearing as the judge on the Playboy series Sex Court to being the model for the comic book series Vampirella, this girl earns cash for her assets 24 hours a day. She’s also known as Queen of the B-Movies, and could rival anyone in Hollywood for number of tripe films on her resume.
It’s not all about being in front of the camera though. Judge Julie is also an accomplished photographer, who teaches courses at UCLA and is considered THE choice photographer by other porn stars.
And while this is all very interesting, even if she were totally dull, it wouldn’t change the fact that she is 46 and still fuckin’ hot.
Oh… and her tagline?
Six foot one and worth the climb.
Indeed.
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April 25th, 2008 Riley
She’s the same age as my dad, and she’s the only person on this list that I can say with absolute certainty we both have a crush on. It’s because she’s a goddess. There I said it.
Emmylou Harris… seriously, what a babe.
And, as if it’s not enough to be way hot at age 61, she’s also super talented and well-respected, or so say the collection of Grammys that she earned in not one… not two… not three… but four different decades. She’s an activist, founded an animal shelter, and is just all-around wondrous and angelic. For that, we bestow upon her the number 34.
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April 22nd, 2008 Riley
I love a woman who eats. I do. It’s sexy as hell. That may partially explain my great love for this woman.
Well, that and the fact that she turns cooking into one of the most sexually suggestive activities ever.
Nigella Lawson seriously loves to get her hands dirty, and she wears a completely naughty, unabashed look of pleasure while she does it. If there is any type of dough that cannot be likened to “warm flesh,” it has yet to appear in Nigella’s kitchen. And she says it with a British accent! Hooray!
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April 21st, 2008 Riley
Because a hottie list is valid only if there are redheads on it.
I started my total jonesing for Julianne Moore back in high school. I went to see Nine Months and accidentally fell into some guy’s lap at the movie theater, which is another story, but still relevant by proxy. She was foxy in that movie, doing a little striptease and sashaying into the room.
Face it. She’s still foxy. Rowr.
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April 18th, 2008 Riley
She almost makes the suckfest that is CSI: Miami tolerable. Almost. At any rate, she’s hot.
Eva La Rue, we salute you. We salute you for making a successful leap from daytime to primetime. We salute you for staying strong in the face of, what some might call, atrocious acting by a certain co-star who shall go unnamed. We salute you for your purdy smile and exceptionally long eyelashes.
We salute you.
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April 16th, 2008 Riley
She was hot when Mary Stuart Masterson wanted to jump her bones in Fried Green Tomatoes. She’s only gotten hotter.
Mary-Louise Parker is one of those fabulous women who didn’t reach the full potential of her sex appeal until well into her thirties, which is quite alright. We know how to appreciate a babelicious woman over forty! And appreciate her we shall.
On a completely uncouth side note, right after Mary-Louise had her baby a few years ago, she had the finest pair of non-surgically enhanced breasts that have ever appeared on a human being. They are the breasts I plan to purchase one day. I hear scientists are still studying the phenomenon.
Posted in 40 Hotties Over 40 | 3 Comments »
April 14th, 2008 Riley
She sings. She acts. She dances. She says things like this:
“If you have to ask how to be sexy after 40, you probably can’t do it.”
Ah, the wisdom of the ages.
She’s Bebe Neuwirth, Broadway babe.
Last year, Bebe became the first woman to have played both of Chicago’s merry murderesses, Velma and Roxie, on Broadway. She moved better than women half her age… after having a hip replacement not long before her run.
She’s known as “smelly good” around here. We ended up walking behind her one day on a New York street and she smelled so delicious, we wanted to follow her wherever she was going. We didn’t, but it was tempting.
Posted in 40 Hotties Over 40 | 3 Comments »
April 11th, 2008 Riley
In the 60s, aka “back in the day”, Catherine Deneuve was the quintessential big screen hottie.
Newsflash: Catherine Deneuve is still hot.
It’s possible she may have lost a little bit of luster, but some women have an awful lot of luster to lose. All the gods in all the heavens, just look at those eyes.
And while we’re on Catherine Deneuve (heh, we’re on Catherine Deneuve), have you seen 8 Women (8 Femmes)? If you haven’t, see it. I mean it. It’s f’in hysterical.
Posted in 40 Hotties Over 40 | 2 Comments »
