Be forewarned. This is a documented fact.

1300 people each month type the following phrase into Google -

“my eye is twitching”

Not “eye twitching” or “eye twitch” or “eye twitch causes” or “eye twitch prevention”, but -

“my eye is twitching”

Question. Why are people getting so intimate with their Google search box? I mean, they do realize that the search box doesn’t care, right?

It’s not like there is some three-centimeter gnome residing inside of it just waiting to be called upon, who, upon seeing this particular eye twitching dilemma, jumps to attention and shouts, one hand in the air, the other on his or her small but passionate gnome heart, “Oh the suffering! I shall travel near and far for you, my beloved master, scouring the vast cosmos of the internet, and I shan’t return until I have found you an adequate remedy or have run out of bandwidth. Please do not forget that I suffer your plight just as you suffer it.”

If that gnome did exist, just knowing that he or she was in there existing purely to be my little internet-savvy therapist, I admit would make me a little bit happy. I would name my gnome Skippy and feed it only Jif peanut butter purely for irony’s sake. Then I would type in stuff like -

“I want to be a rock star.”

Nearly 10,000 Google searches a month… in case you were wondering.