To prove my ninja skills, I used my ultimate human propulsion system to speed up our last flight of the trip, JFK to Long Beach, and succeeded in landing us seconds before Air Force One. While we were in flight, the rumor quickly spread that President Obama would be touching down in Long Beach at roughly the same time. While everyone else started soiling their pants, we immediately started the doomsday scenario of “what if they beat us to the airport and we have to circle in the air for another hour?” So, I kicked in my own personal turbo-boosters and got us there pronto. As soon as we touched down, they came on the little PA system and told us that the airport would be closing down immediately due to the fact that Air Force One was landing. My immediate thought once again? “Please tell me we won’t be stuck on this plane for another hour.” Sorry, peeps, but it was a long enough flight already. Luckily, they allowed us to get off the plane, but they were going to have to wait to get everyone’s luggage off. And this is one of the reasons we never check baggage. Though, the fact that they like to dig through our personal belongings every time, because taking only a carry-on overseas apparently makes you a national threat, makes the annoyance of checking luggage almost seem worth it. Anyway, that’s another day’s story. Today, just know that my turbo-boosters are in top form.