Used to be when I emailed my BFF, Pamela, I would use these crazy subject lines that had absolutely nothing at all to do with the email itself. I think I’m going to start doing that on here. That way people will read through the post and they’ll be all like, “Where were the pixie sticks?” and “What in the hell is a bean bod?” But it will be like a practical joke, because there was never a pixie stick or a bean bod in the first place.

Then, I will cackle gleefully.

Of course, that probably would work only if I hadn’t informed everyone of my nefarious scheme.

Bollocks.

In other news, did everyone but me know that the word ‘bollocks’ actually means testicles? Like in its original use? Suddenly… not as much fun to say.