I warn you now… long is not a figurative term here. Prepare to be amazed at my severe wordiness. Inspired by Tara, the Hotness, who asked my current business and didn’t know what she was getting herself into. For those of you who couldn’t care less about what I do when I’m not writing fic, please feel free to skip this entry, because it really is all about me, what I’ve been doing, and my random thoughts and/or opinions on all kinds of stuff that’s been going down lately. If you do plan to read from here to the bottom, please take a moment to go pee pee, grab a canteen, and bag up some trail mix. It’s gonna be a hike, my faithful friends.

You see, it’s like this. Sometimes you get up in the morning, and you have a place you have to be. It’s called a job… and it’s stupid. Right now, I don’t have one of those. It’s by choice, and that’s awesome. Until Shawna loses her cushy one come May. Then it might smart. Then again, maybe it won’t. And here’s why. I have been spending my days working my fingers to their own little bones, trying to kickstart our empire. What’s this, you say? What is this empire of which she speaks?

Not many people know this, until now that is, but we’ve been diligently working for some months on our internet empire. And, as the Romans and the Ottomans long ago discovered, it takes an incredible amount of upfront work to build an empire, with absolutely no immediate payoff. Of course, once your empire is built, you get to construct grand structures in honor of yourself and hold gladiator games, which, of course, is so f’in sweet it keeps you going through the hard times. So, for months now, I have been working obsessively at this very thing. Work, work, work… nothing, nothing, nothing in return. As far as the term ‘obsessively’ goes in this instance, what I mean is this -

I get up in the morning and start working. I work through breakfast. I work through lunch. Shawna comes home. We have coffee. We work. I make dinner. We eat. We work some more. We get up in the morning. She goes to work. I start working again. The only time that I do not work is when I am in the shower, when I am working out, or when I go up to the roof during the day, because I am already pale enough without complete avoidance of the sun. The past three weekends, however, we have started going out one day of the weekend, which is good. That day, I work on my photography skills and remind myself that I am not, in fact, a hermit, even if, in all outward appearances, it seems to be a spot-on term for what I am. I’m positive the UPS guy thinks it at any rate. He’s kind of awesome and has great hair. One day, we got a package with Shawna’s name on it, and it didn’t have an apartment number on it, but he’d been up here with a package before and knew the general vicinity of the aparment, so he just stood in the hallway, calling out Shawna’s name. That’s dedication.

So, anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing. Working… in its most extreme form. The sad news is, it doesn’t leave much time for anything else. The good news is, that whole ‘work for no pay’ thing that I started out doing is no longer for no pay… though it is still for extremely low pay. Hence, the still working hard and rarely updating or communicating. But I will try to be better about that, I promise. I actually need to find more balance. Burnout is a very real possibility, and I tend to stress out quickly. And I really can’t do that right now. Then it will take even longer to create our empire, meaning it will be even longer before I have a life again.

Now, onto other highly important, yet random, things in no particular order -

First off, I hate when there is a Law & Order marathon on and I tune in only to find out that almost all of the episodes are Elisabeth Röhm eps. Now, don’t go getting all defensive, Röhm lovers. Let me state once again that I really don’t dislike her. I’m just no fan of her Law & Order work. Never meshed for me. Still doesn’t. She was just too stiff on there. I’ve enjoyed her in other things. And I do appreciate that she has an umlaut in her name.

So, my nephew, Noah, sent me his Flat Stanley. For those of you who aren’t up on your children’s literature, Flat Stanley is a book that some ingenius person wrote, and became a kazillionaire off of, about this two-dimensional twerp named Stanley who mails himself to California to visit. Then kids make their own Stanleys and send him off to someone who lives somewhere they’d like to learn about and you’re supposed to take pictures of Stanley in your city and send him back. So, now both of my nephews and one of my little brothers have sent me Flat Stanleys in recent years and I’ve gotten to take Flat Stanley all over town and photograph him in my city. I’m telling you this, because that’s the only reason I happened to have my camera with me when we went to Hollywood & Highland last night. So when we randomly happened upon Los Angeles, Italia, “The Ultimate Italian Event”, that’s the only reason I was able to get these photographs.

Yes, indeed, that is my #8 Hottie Over 40, Lesley Ann Warren. Remember, this woman is now 62 years old, people! And while she definitely did look years younger under the strategic glow of the red carpet floodlights, I was eyeing her in the lobby before she walked the celebrity path, and she certainly did not look 62. In fact, she looked rather fine. And, yes, that is Shawna with Angel… er David Boreanaz, which is so awesome I’m too verklempt to speak of it.

Seriously though, I’m not one to get giddy over celebrity, but I have been known to get giddy over certain celebrities, and I definitely went a little fangirl this night. I mean, Angel and my #8 all in the same night? It’s like the universe conspired to make me feel completely juvenile. I wanted to go up to Lesley Ann Warren and start feeding her the cue lines that came before my favorite lines of hers in Clue. Like this part:

CHIEF: Repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.

LESLEY as MISS SCARLET: You ain’t just whistling Dixie.

See, I would say the Chief’s line and then Lesley was supposed to respond accordingly. Shawna said it’s probably good that I didn’t walk up to her and say, “Repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” Having had over twenty-four hours now to think on it, I’m going to have to agree that probably wouldn’t have been the best opening line. For anyone in Hollywood. Unless it was like Kirk Cameron.

Speaking of Kirk Cameron, have you all heard about this Fireproof movie? It was made by some church somewhere, it actually made money at theaters across the nation, and it’s a damn bestseller on Amazon. It’s apparently their third film, because, you know, every church should be using the offering plate to fund their filmmaking ventures. In past films, they’ve used a cast comprised of their starry-eyed congregation, but this time they’ve gotten the big gun involved, Kirk Cameron, cute, boy-faced 80′s icon turned cute, boy-faced religious icon. The last person to make such a career out of being religious was Jesus Christ, orator, faith-healer, winemaker, and all-around kickass guy. Get off it, Kirk Cameron! No one is ever going to write a musical titled Kirk Cameron, Superstar. There is only one Jesus Christ! And even if there wasn’t, there IS only one Ted Neeley. So, who’s going to play you? I admit it, Kirk Cameron, I watched Growing Pains and I like your movie Listen to Me, even if it makes me a special kind of pathetic. But I have just about had it with your over-the-top crap. I take my movie religion from Madea and no one else.

And while we are on the subject of movies, let’s also add in television shows, both primetime and daytime, and, now, I make a plea.

Hollywood, I know that I have said in the past that I want to be represented, that I want to be included, in popular culture. I lied. Please stop what you are doing. From this point forward, please banish gay characters from all of your films and television shows. You do not represent me. At all. And the saddest, most disturbing part is that you truly believe that you do. More on that later.

Whew! Running out of steam here.

Race You to the Bottom. Finally saw it. Love Amber Benson. Couldn’t sit through it. Still can’t believe the kind of crap that actually gets into film festivals. But on a positive note, it made some of Dina’s films look classic.

As for Dina, I did watch the Nip/Tuck that she was on. I’ve watched Nip/Tuck in the past. Famke… Leslie Bibb… Sarah Paulson… and, of course, I wouldn’t miss Dina. It’s official. I still love Dina. And I still get nauseous every time I watch Nip/Tuck. Could someone please tell me the exact date that hip and vile became the same thing?

Onward -

I haven’t seen The Reader yet. I actually do want to see it quite badly, because the novel is my second favorite book. I read something just yesterday where a Holocaust historian said that The Reader is the worst representation of the Holocaust ever, because it attempted to excuse the German citizens who took part in the Holocaust of their culpability. He said something else along the same lines that I won’t share, because it’s a spoiler if anyone is planning to read the book or see the movie. It makes me wonder if this guy bothered to read the novel. I hate when people miss the point, like the review I read of Lost & Delirious where the idiot reviewer was like, “when one of the girls realizes it’s just a phase and she’s not a lesbian, the other can’t let it go,” and I’m all like, “Did you sleep through half the movie and only the important scenes, or should you just be sucking my balls right now?” Anyway, it rubbed me all wrong. And, if you’re gonna rub me, rub me right.

Now, let’s talk wallabies. Seriously, I’m really, really saddened by what’s happened (is happening) in Australia. I do hope all of the people I’ve come to know in Australia are safe and have some peace of mind. I’d love to hear a word letting me know that you’re all okay. And all of the animals are just killing me. When I was a kid, koalas were my favorite. Since I have no new favorite animal, they still are I guess. (Though the Rock Hyrax could give them a run for their money.) They’re not bears! They’re marsupials! Yeah, I was that kid. And never again shall you need wonder why I was tortured all through my school age years. Sam, the Koala reminds me why I find them so lovable -

- regardless of the fact that they are supposed to be mean little bastards when they don’t need lovin’ for their feet.

All I know is there are just certain things that make me long for the days of public executions. A little messy maybe, but certainly heartfelt.

Oh, and poor Naomi Watts was photographed nude by a paparazzo and is apparently very upset about it. Here’s a thought. Next time you are shooting a nude scene for a movie, try a closed set.

The End