Riley Declares Writing Hard, Decides to Become a Poker Champion Instead.

Author Riley LaShea, who has written a thing or two in her day, has declared stage plays the apex of writing difficulty. “Screenplays are fairly simple. Not the plot, but the execution is relatively straightforward. Novels are far from easy to write, but at least with those you can go anywhere without restriction,” the author, who appeared frazzled and twitchy, her eyes bloodshot and puffed like microwaved marshmallows, when she interviewed herself in the mirror,  exasperatedly stated. “When it comes to stage plays, there is so much limitation due to the staging. Unless you want to be dropping the curtain every three minutes to switch between scenes, which I learned from the cringe-inducing production of A Christmas Carol at the Kodak theater recently can be a recipe for disaster, you have to be infinitely more creative than with any other genre.”

With a tight deadline coming up, and a desire to finish this particular play, instead of relying on the one she already has done, will LaShea complete her mission or crack like a porcelain prostitute under the pressure? “I’m not going to lie,” she smiled coyly at her reflection. “I wouldn’t say no to some mind-altering drugs right about now. But it’ll be okay. If this doesn’t work out, I’m totally going on the World Poker Tour. I might suck at that too, but at least I can ogle Jennifer Tilly’s bosoms for hours.”