I watched Logo last night. It’s the first time I’ve ever watched anything on Logo late at night. Mulholland Drive was on and there is nothing quite like Laura Elena Harring in that particular film to have on in the background… no matter what you are doing in the foreground. From nice to naughty, it serves in all kinds of exciting life scenarios. Curling your grandmother’s hair? Fabulous. Grandmother’s love the convoluted plot and racy lesbian sex scene. It’s a total crowd-pleaser for the geriatric set.

But don’t be cruel. Purchase the DVD. While the DVD doesn’t have scene selection, making it rather difficult to fast forward to the sex scene mentioned above (not that I’d know), at least it actually shows it in all its glorious nudity (as God intended).

As I was watching Mulholland Drive, leading up to the happy moment of Laura Elena dropping her towel before crawling into bed with Naomi Watts, I wondered exactly how Logo was going to show that love scene. As a cable network that is commercial supported, I doubted that they would be able to show anything. Right I was! Laura Elena pulled open her towel, and, glorious monkey butts!, she was pixelated! Laughing so hard, it was hard to keep watching through my squint-eyed mirth, I waited for the rest of the scene to play out, and wasn’t the least bit disappointed. Laura Elena and Naomi Watts were so awesome at handling each other’s pixels. Seriously.

We giggled like school girls through a love scene that usually pleases my amatory receptors, and went to bed shortly after. So this morning when I woke up, the first thing Shawna said to me was, “My dreams were filled with pixelated boobs!”

Don’t worry… it was only a joke.

But that got us to thinkin’. How horrible would it be if your sex dreams were pixelated or scrambled? What if you couldn’t see your own fantasies, and when you went to touch, your hand just disappeared into a blur of unidentifiable skin-colored jumble? Could this finally answer the oft-asked question, “What is the absolute worst thing in the history of the universe?”

In other news, the LAPD has now officially sucked money from us like leeches, and they are still out for blood. Shawna gets to go to court on Christmas Eve. How festive! I’ll let you know if I decide to buy one of these and pee on a police car.