Those lovely Nielsen people recently released statistics, and one of those statistics was that Americans watch an average of 142 hours of television a month. That, my friends, is almost six full days of television each month. That averages out to roughly 4 1/2 hours a day in a 31 day month. That is a lot of f’in TV.

As someone who is employed only in her own personal pursuits and spends the entire day at home where she can watch TV whenever the mood strikes her fancy, this still seems an astronomical statistic. So my question is… who’s doing all of this television watching?

I have a theory. You know those little house and apartment leprechauns, the ones that you can’t see but even without proof you know are there? The ones who do things like hide the book you were reading or your keys or eat the last brownie while your back is turned. Those leprechauns must know how to turn on the television while you are out of the house. And they must be very active in Nielsen households.