TITLE: A Conversation with Heather about Cindy… no wait, Pete
PAIRING: Lindsay/Cindy
DISCLAIMER: Women’s Murder Club does not belong to me. The characters do not belong to me. They are the property of James Patterson, 20th Century Fox Television and ABC. (Well, not anymore. Jackasses.) I have no problems with that as long as I can borrow them for short bursts and use them in pursuit of my own enjoyment. I am not trying to infringe. Though, I don’t know why anyone has a problem with fan fic. After all, it really is a compliment. If anyone wants to write fan fiction about my book, feel free.

“Lindsay!”

Ears ringing with the sheer pitch at which she was summoned, Lindsay whirled to find Heather bounding up the hallway toward her, looking much like a cheerleader gearing up for the big pep rally.

“Heather!” she exclaimed back, still reeling from her seriously screwed up conversation with Tom and not nearly as excited about conversing with another person so soon after as she made herself sound.

“Just the person I was looking for!” Heather burst ecstatic bliss all over her.

“Really?” Lindsay posed, grimacing, though luckily Tom’s oddly exuberant wife missed her reaction. “You aren’t here to see Tom? Because he’s right up in his office. I just left him.”

Heather flapped her hand with a rather unfortunate disinterest in the direction of Tom’s office, effectively blowing off Lindsay’s hopeful suggestion, before seizing her by the arms with an iron grip and an overly-animated smile.

“I need to talk to YOU Lindsay,” Heather stated with conviction, finally calming to a level that didn’t make Lindsay completely seasick. “Actually, I need to ask you a favor.”

“Uh… alright,” Lindsay breathed, hoping it didn’t sound like premature agreement, and moderately concerned about what Heather could possibly ask of her.

“I have a little cousin, ten-years-old, who’s supposed to bring something really cool to class with her for this big school-wide ’show-n-tell’ thing they are doing next month at her school, and she really wants to be a police officer, so I was hoping that maybe you would…”

It was very clear where Heather was going and Lindsay didn’t particularly want to go there with her.

“What about Tom?” she asked, glancing in the direction of his office, sending long-range telepathic signals for intervention.

“He would do it,” Heather slowly responded, “but I’d really like for her to get to illustrate that a strong, smart, beautiful woman can be a fantastic police officer.”

Ah! Damn the human flattery gene.

And Heather for giving hers a vigorous kick start.

“And Melanie already kind of told her teacher that she would be bringing a female officer,” Heather added hesitantly. “Apparently they haven’t had many of those, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

“Do you remember how well this turned out for you the last time?” Lindsay initiated her last line of defense.

“I would ask you to leave your gun at home,” Heather admitted with a laugh.

She simply could not say yes to this favor. It was Heather’s family. Her ex-husbands in-laws. It was weird. It was unnatural. It was freaking ’show-n-tell’! And regardless of all of that -

“Okay,” she heard herself say like a limp-minded sucker.

“Really? That is so great!” Heather resumed her energized attack, and Lindsay tried not to duck. “And, you know, Mel’s teacher is kind of hot, so maybe it will be worth it for you.”

“Oh,” Lindsay faltered for a moment at the unexpected add-on. “Actually, I’m seeing someone.”

If she thought that Heather was manic before, she was incredibly wrong.

“Oh my God!” Heather shrieked like a groupie seconds away from tossing her panties onstage and wrapped her arms around Lindsay’s neck in a chokehold worthy of the WWE. “I am so happy for the two of you!”

“Okay,” Lindsay managed through her constricted windpipe, giving Heather an awkward, wide-fingered pat on the back. “I appreciate that you are happy for me, but Heather… you don’t even know him.”

Heather pulled away at once, bright eyes going dull with sudden bewilderment.

“Him?” she questioned. “Really?

There was a much-warranted snit awaiting her participation, and Lindsay momentarily considered giving into its decidedly cruel whims (throw a desk, slap Heather, that kind of thing), but being a reasonable adult, who could handle other people’s delusions with empathy and restraint, she forced a tight smile instead.

“You and Tom have had this conversation, haven’t you?”

“We are married Lindsay,” Heather responded as if it was a perfectly logical explanation as to why they would be discussing her love life as part of their average, everyday small talk. “So… you’re seeing someone.”

“Yes,” Lindsay nodded firmly. Visual clues here, people. Do you see what I’m saying to you? “His name is Pete.”

“Pete,” Heather repeated, the word sounding oddly foreign in her mouth, head bobbing as if she was trying to convince herself. “And Cindy’s okay with this?

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Lindsay asked, grinding her teeth into what she suspected would be a fine powder if it continued for any length of time.

“I don’t know,” Heather amateurishly lied. “I was just asking.”

“Cindy is fine.”

“Putting on a brave face,” she verbally sympathized.

“She’s not putting on a brave face!” Lindsay shouted, finally losing her cool and drawing surrounding attention, as well as Heather’s surprised reaction. “She’s actually fine. Cindy is happy for me. She asks about Pete all the time.”

Heather made a little ‘oh’ groan that sounded much like an utterance someone would make when they just watched the most adorable baby bunny ever get kicked right in its cute face.

And if Cindy was Heather’s metaphoric bunny, there was no doubt as to whom the vicious kicker had to be.

“She really does,” Lindsay added, feeling unjustly accused and somehow completely guilty at the same time.

“I’m sure that she does,” Heather replied, still oozing Cindy-directed sympathy.

Which made Lindsay feel like an utterly heartless jerk.

And she hadn’t done anything wrong!

“Listen,” Heather started, exhilaration deadened completely now. Apparently, Lindsay noted, the revelation of her new relationship with Pete was nothing less than a total buzzkill. “You don’t have to do the ’show-n-tell’ thing.”

“What? Why? I don’t mind,” Lindsay found herself pleading.

Did Heather really find her such an awful person now that she didn’t even want her around people who shared parts of her DNA?

“Well…” Heather hesitated, and Lindsay was on tenterhooks waiting to see if she was still good enough to serve as an exhibit while some kid talked about her in front of her elementary-aged classmates. “Actually, it was more than just ’show-n-tell’. Mel’s parents are really starting to suspect that she’s gay, and I thought maybe you could, you know, show her you could be a strong, beautiful, intelligent… lesbian… cop. But now you’re dating some guy.”

“Pete,” Lindsay bit out, duly annoyed at the way Heather made it seem as if she had destroyed the perfect scenario by being with him.

“Right. And Cindy is…”

“Fine,” Lindsay replied with stern definitiveness.

“Okay then…” Heather indulged her. “So, your life advice would only half apply, and I’m really hoping to kill two birds with one stone. There’s got to be a lesbian cop somewhere in San Francisco.”

Apparently, they were supposed to be laughing now. Heather’s tapered off quite quickly, though, when Lindsay didn’t join in.

“Alright,” Heather muttered quietly. “I’ll just have Mel tell Miss Pettigrew I’m still looking for someone.”

“Wait,” Lindsay cut in, puzzle quickly piecing together in her strained mind. “The hot teacher you were offering up for me is a woman?”

“I just figured at the rate you two were moving, you and Cindy were never going to get it together,” Heather responded, then smiled sincerely. “I just want you to be happy.”

Scarcely able to see Heather through the red clouding her vision, Lindsay gulped her fury, feeling the fiery after burn spread up her esophagus.

“I do have some life advice for you Heather,” she offered with misleading calm.

“Oh, okay,” Heather perkily replied.

“Be gone before one.”
 
Heather was about to ask for clarification, but when Lindsay started counting down from three, Heather caught on with haste. Before Lindsay even made it to two, she was nowhere in sight.