I would love to be writing this to brag about the dream I had last night. I mean, look at that post title. It sounds good, doesn’t it?
Laura Pausini has invaded my dreams.
Sounds good.
Andrea Corr has invaded my dreams.
Sounds good.
The Angie Harmon/Aubrey Dollar double-stack has invaded my dreams.
Sounds reeeeaaaaalllll good.
But do I get a Friday night of lust-inducing, fantasy-filled dream fare? Oh no. I get to go to work again.
You see, I’ve noticed a frightening thing in the comments on here. A lot of people are coming home from bad days. Is everyone really as stressed out and unsatisfied as I am? How can that even be?
So, here is a healthy does of schadenfreude to make you all feel better.
Last night, I dreamed that I showed up at work, bad enough in itself, but there was more. In an effort to curtail my unfortunate work behavior, they had moved furniture around so that my desk and that of my cubicle neighbor set side-by-side. We literally were sitting right next to each other, about a foot apart. Close… too close. Close enough that she could reach out and touch me if she was feeling particularly pervy. Close enough that she would be able to hear whether or not there was actually sound coming from my headphones, making obsolete my method of avoiding small talk by wearing my headphones at all times even when I’m not listening to anything.
The worst part? This dream lasted, like, a long damn time. I went to work twice yesterday! Twice! And the second time it was worse than usual.
This is a seriously disconcerting turn of events. I can barely go to work once in a day. If I start going nightly as well, it’s not going to be pretty. There might be arsenic involved… and old lace. And booze. And repetitive viewing of the scene in Better Off Dead when John Cusack is in the garbage truck and the guy says, “Somebody threw away a perfectly good white boy.”
And now I have to go off and get cracked. By the chiropractor. Quit thinking dirty.
Well, hope this little snippet of the suckfest that was my Friday night dreaming makes you chuckle and be glad that you didn’t dream about work. Unless you did, and, in that case, I empathize.
May 3rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
HA! three lines into this i thought, “oh no, it’s acryllic nail lady!” i’m so sorry riley, that’s no good dream. we’ve got to come up with some way to dissolve those things without her knowledge.
on a side note: i rarely come home from a bad day (my job rocks everything). so you’re posts simply add to the awesomeness of my days. they often provide me with just the morning laugh i need to get me off a good note. so really, you set the tone for many of my good days!
um, on another note: i’ve already voiced my concern for cinderella’s well being. however, i’m becoming concerned for another aspect of the story. i’m nervous something specific might happen that would greatly upset me. if this thing were to happen, i hate to say it, but i would never, ever, ever buy anything you wrote ever again! movie, play, book, television, nothing. and i would never make a shirt with your face on it for a premiere (not that i’ve ever done that).
May 3rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
heather locklear
May 3rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Uh, what about her?
For the list or is that whose face you put on a shirt?
May 5th, 2008 at 3:17 am
who needs narnia when you have Cinderella’s Rebellion?
i’ve spent the past few hours shaking a fist in the air while muttering “grriiiimmmmmm” under my breate, i laughed hysterically at everyone and their mom kissing Snow White, i thought to myself, “really, riley, an earthquake,” but in the end it all paid off.
what a satisfingly fantastic story! i don’t want to give anything away to future readers, but i was way off base with my initial fears. i should have given you more credit. so when you move those last 2,000 copies, you’re writing another???
and, yes, for the list weirdo. the face on the shirt was a random jessica biel, jessica alba contest between my husband and i. i think biel, he thinks alba. we wore t-shirts to a retreat (which is an idea spawned from a random lord of the rings premiere incident, long story).
is this is longest comment ever?
May 5th, 2008 at 3:19 am
nope, my first one on this post was longer. also, aluminum foil her cubicle. it will be the first step in a long list of steps to get her to quit. it’s very late/early, i’m going to bed. i owe my late night.
May 5th, 2008 at 3:21 am
oops…. forgot the “to you.” i’m so very tired. hope all these comments don’t annoy you….
May 5th, 2008 at 6:18 am
I’m annoyed. I am. Terribly
No wonder my list is going to be such a disappointment for you. I’m so with your husband on this Alba/Biel thing.
And I’m so glad that you liked my book. I like to think it’s worth reading. My mom randomly called me Saturday to tell me that she was reading it for the third time, and she loved it again, but she is hardly an unbiased reader.
I also happen to think it would make a fantastic movie