I SHALL SPOIL! THEE HAVE BEEN WARNED 

Women’s Murder Club returned to ABC’s lineup yesterday, and, I’m happy to report, the HoYay continues. It started early, right after the completely unnecessary Boxer-driving-fast lead-in. Now, I’m sure that some of you found Lindsay speeding through traffic in her SUV a super turn-on. That’s fine. It doesn’t change the fact that it didn’t, in any way, advance the story and shots like that are expensive. Cut costs where you can, WMC. You aren’t helping yourselves by busting the budget.

Anyway, back to planet sex appeal.

Lindsay gets to the crime scene. We find that there has clearly been an advance in their relationship as Lindsay actually lifts the tape to let Cindy onto the crime scene. This unlikely happening foreshadows the later unlikely happening of Lindsay involving Cindy in a police tactical maneuver. Clearly, a lot has changed in four months. It’s a good change. During this exchange, we get our first sexually-charged banter.

LINDSAY: I thought you were reading Eat Pray Love.

CINDY: I thought you were watching Atonement.

The Unspoken Here Went Thusly:

LINDSAY: You do realize we are talking about the lack of romance in our lives while standing very close with huge smiles on our faces.

CINDY: I want to jump you so bad.

Then, they have to bolt and they RUN to the car together. This, in itself, was a site to behold. I will watch… often… with wide eyes and a tickle in my heart.

Later, at the new coffee cart, which is a place they apparently love more than anything else on earth (what, did the diner burn down, and this is all they’ve got left?), they LIE to Cindy. Never do this. This is a bad idea. Now, one thing of note here is the fact that Cindy paid, and then later, after they all have a spat due to this lie that they told Cindy, Lindsay goes to the cart and has no money and says that she never does this. That’s so sweet. Her girlfriend buys her coffee every single time? Who needs Eat Pray Love and Atonement? Lindsay and Cindy know romantic gestures.

Okay, so due to this spat, which showed us an angry Cindy (when she slammed that copy machine shut, was anyone else like *ROWR*? Maybe it was just me), Lindsay wants to make it up to her, so she lets her tag along to a hostage situation. Like I mentioned before, we have come a LONG way in four months.

So, of course, they are in desperate need of a decoy, and a cop-like person won’t suffice, and some people are going to die if they don’t do something quick, so our brave little redhead is all like - I’ll do it. Let me do it. I must do it. I must save the innocent. - and Lindsay is all overprotective like she always is when it comes to Cindy.

The Unspoken Here Went Thusly:

LINDSAY: Listen, until I find someone else who can do that thing with their tongue, I am not about to put you in harm’s way.

CINDY: People could die. You know, it’s a little more important than your supreme sexual satisfaction.

LINDSAY: Not to me!

CINDY: You won’t think it’s sexy? If I do this little hero thing, it won’t turn your crank?

LINDSAY: Will you wear a cape for me later?

CINDY: With nothing else.

LINDSAY: Fine. Dammit.

So, Cindy gets her way and Lindsay is telling her what to do, leading her toward the house, with one hand ever-present on her back, and I go *THUMP* and hit my head on the floor. Then, Cindy jogs across to the house and Lindsay watches her go with a longing, “return to me, baby” look.

The day gets saved thanks to Super Cindy, and Lindsay goes to her immediately, and Cindy is lying on the porch, repeating “I’m a pancake. I’m a pancake,” because that’s what Lindsay told her to be and covering her head with her hands. (This whole I’m a pancake thing resulted in my girlfriend making a delightful quip later about a double-stack. God, you’ve gotta love a quick and witty chic.) Lindsay compliments her little pancake on a job well done and helps her up, and it’s all so very sweet that I swoon and turn off my TV before I have to see Boxer plucked up and placed back into hetero world.

Other thoughts:

Lindsay did have one moment with Jill. I’ll give those ’shippers that, but just one, and it didn’t have the zing of Lindsay/Cindy.

Lindsay’s guy… okay. But does every love interest ever have to be a super suave and successful person? Just once, I would like to see a popular character fall head over heels for someone that no friend would ever be jealous of, someone they actually cringe when they see, someone that makes them ask “why?” I’m just sayin’.

There was some seriously BAD dialogue on this episode. It’s happened before, but there were some special instances last night.

That’s all I have for now… or at least all the time I have for now.

All in all, it brought a smile. Now, don’t be douches and cancel it, ABC!