I wore real shoes to work today, which is not an unusual thing, but last week I wore sandals for the majority of the week and I got used to taking them off and sitting in my most favoritest fashion. I’m a leg-crosser, see? But not at the knees or the ankles or one leg up beneath me. Those unsymmetrical ways of crossing hurt my back and don’t fulfill me emotionally. I am a full-on, two-legged, pretzeled up in my chair leg-crosser. I do it at home and abroad. I do it in the car. An hour into a road trip, the shoes come off and the legs come up. Witnesses can verify this phenomenon. It’s instinctive, and, of course, I have a theory about it.

I would like to believe that this is an indicator that I descend directly from Buddha, and there are some signs that point in that direction. For instance, martial arts. Just started dabbling and I find I pick up quite like a ninja… okay, maybe not like a ninja, but definitely like a kata-inclined white girl. Then, the other day, I needed a snack, I had a craving, opened up some baby corns and proceeded to munch baby corns until the can was empty. It was strange even to me.

Sadly, though, I don’t actually think that I am a Buddhist ninja.

In truth, I’ve been trying to recall where exactly I have seen the most consistent, inherent cross-legged sitting. Then I remembered.

At the zoo.

Gorillas.

I don’t want to talk about it.