So, I called in on Friday and spent the weekend in NYC. I wish that I could say it was just that spur of the moment, but it wasn’t. It was a planned trip. It was just easier to call in than ask off. On said trip, I saw some things I expected to see and some things I didn’t expect to see.

Things I expected to see:

1. Joanna Gleason in Something You Did - And she showed up! Finally! Sadly, it was a drama, which meant no strikingly funny deliveries, though there were a few humorous lines. She was so excellent though. Damn.

2. Sarah Paulson in Crimes of the Heart - She was so good in this. She was so good in The Glass Menagerie when I saw it. She’s good in everything, but I think I like her better on stage. She did, however, get me all confused again, because she was my original choice to play Adriana in my Best Women movie and now I’m regretting my premature and dream-life only recast.

3. Backseat - Short-term showing of the film at one theater. People kept doing double-takes to see if they knew us, because we were the only people there that weren’t part of the in-crowd. It was one of those times when you are the only people in the theater other than friends of the cast and crew, and they kind of cock their heads with that “do I know you?” look. No, you don’t know me. Sorry to intrude on the party. I’m just here to see Aubrey Dollar on this very small “big screen”.

Things I didn’t expect to see:

1. A dead bear cub on the side of the road. No lie. It had a really shiny fur coat. It was terribly sad. It was a bear! A bear! Jersey… of course.

2. A six-legged cow. I shit you not. Unless I was totally delirious, and I’d had plenty of coffee that morning so I doubt it, I saw a six-legged cow in a field. I stared at this cow for a long time, just to be sure, and I’d like to note that it retained its six legs the entire time I was looking at it. It wasn’t like a glance where I looked away and came back and they were gone. The F’in cow had six legs! Six legs the whole time! I swear on everything that is good and holy here people.

3. Christian Bale - I am only 95% certain on this. While I find him a fabulous actor and count Newsies as a favorite film, the real joy in this is that he is the object of the obsessive celebrity lust of my BFF and relaying the story to her was infintiely enjoyable. No word yet on whether she took a header into her computer monitor as a result of this information.

So, that’s all I know about that. Now answer me this.

Am I the only person for whom getting to work on time is an absolute impossibility? I try to, I really do, but anything less than six minutes late is something I am incapable of making happen. It’s unreal. Seriously.