Here are my thoughts on Pilates today.

1. Pilates helps me discover muscles that I haven’t thought about since sixth grade health class… and then makes them hurt.

2. Pilates is gearing me up for a hardcore breakdancing career, in which I will be capable of doing the snake and hopping on my hands effortlessly.

3. Pilates is extraordinarily good for me, but I hate it anyway.

4. Pilates is what Yoga would be if it were completely sadistic.

5. Pilates is the devil’s workout.

That is all.