This morning, the car was covered in about an inch of ice. Not just in places. Like the entire car. And it wouldn’t melt. The defrost was practically powerless against it. The de-icing spray made little immediate impact. Even the scraper seemed like it was more just tickling the ice than trying to scrape it away. I don’t want the scraper and the ice to become friends. There should be no tickle fests. It’s improper and against the laws of nature. They are supposed to be mortal enemies. The scraper is supposed to attack the ice with the power of a giant and the stealth of a ninja.

These are the lessons I learned from this.

1. Never leave your scraper alone with ice. It is easily seduced.

2. When you get to your car and find it encased in an inch of ice, turn around, go back inside, call work, and return to bed.