Here I go again, thinking that I’m a big girl now, and then reminding myself that I’m not.

At my last job, I purchased some big girl sippy cups, because I needed a cup with a lid for my desk, because open cups collect dirt and debris, and I haven’t liked eating or drinking dirt and debris since I was a toddler. Though, if truth be told, there are a few special food items that I find so worthy of saving that, if I were to drop them on the dirtiest of dirty floors, I would do everything within my power to salvage them. This leads me to believe that there may be some instances in which I could eat dirt and debris by choice. But floating atop my water? Not in general. If it were Smart water? Maybe. Dragonfruit vitamin water. Indubitably.

I admit, those sippy cups weren’t just for purposes of blocking settling dust, though. They had the added bonus of preventing spills, which I had experienced several of at that job, so many that I realized I was going to spill my way into a pink slip. It was a paperwork job, and, for some reason, I don’t think they looked too kindly on me, the girl who kept spilling water all over that paperwork. The most intriguing part of this is, I’m not particularly clumsy. I’m just constantly preoccupied. Clearly, those two things have similar outcomes.

Then again, the most intriguing part may actually be, when I say big girl sippy cups, I don’t mean like to-go coffee mugs or insulated cups with lids from office supply stores. I’m talking about actual big girl sippy cups, the ones made for bigger little kids, like four-year-olds who like a little more drink than their two-year-old counterparts, but are still likely to spill it all over themselves. These sippy cups have Dora the Explorer on them. No lie.

So, after my moments ago spillage of water all over my already filled out time sheet, which I then had to throw away and fill out again, I’ve realized my big girl sippy cup days are not behind me.

Prepare yourself, Dora, you are coming out of retirement.