This headline? Absolutely false. But it would be kind of humorous if it were true. I think, if Tom Hanks  had actually threatened this, people would be like, “He didn’t eat when he filmed Castaway either. BFD.”

So, he is urging the studios to end the strike so that he can accept his next Oscar… er… because he doesn’t want to see the beautiful ceremony that is the Academy Awards screwed up. Oh yes. How would we all go through the rest of the year without our annual dosage of interpretive dance or montages of dead people?

And, of course, this end to the writers’ strike isn’t going to stop the actors from striking later this spring, but that’s all good, because Tom only needs one night free of union disputes. Oscar night… when he can accept his gold trophy and thank Julia Roberts for being such a consummate performer.

Tom, I want to help you out, so here’s an idea. Maybe you should offer up 5% of your salary. Yes, Tom, a mere 1 million of your usual 20 million per picture could help bring an end to the standoff. So, the studios are greedy. It doesn’t mean you have to be.