I have incredible pain retention. What’s odd is, when it comes to physical pain, I’m actually pretty badass. I can take a lot of abuse without so much as a grimace. If I’m crying over something corporeal, you know the shit really hurt.

On the other hand, when it comes to emotional pain, I am a freaking train wreck. I take emotional blows like a teething baby. There are plenty of tears, sudden bouts of howling, and a strong desire to bite something.

And when it comes to forgiving? I guess you could say, I’m sort of like a loan shark. I don’t do it easily. When I’ve been hurt, I pick and pick at the wound. This both prevents it from healing with any haste, and causes quite the scar when it finally does.

That scar serves as a reminder. It’s a reminder that, in my mind at least, I have been wronged. That I have been hurt. And I can’t stop looking at it.

But I have learned something recently, within the last year or two, that I need to hold on to.

Forgiveness can be very healing. No one can make up for pain they have caused you unless you let them get close enough to try.

It’s risky. Once close, they can hurt you again.

Or, they can make the scar go away.