So, now that I know it must be done, what steps will best lead me in the direction of kicking tripe ass?

1. Write a better screenplay than Team Tripe.

Already done. Team Tripe is having a bit of a hard time getting that first screenplay in the bag, so just having written a screenplay period puts me in the lead.
And even when Team Tripe manages to complete a screenplay, it’s nothing to worry about. After all, there is a reason I am called Team Talent.

2. Buy some cheerleaders.

If there is one thing that Team Tripe has excelled in, it is gathering a fan base. I’m a bit confused as to why this has occurred. Team Tripe’s only claims to fame
are an unnatural desire to sell a screenplay before me and sarcasm-laced quick wit.

3. Try to sell a screenplay.

This may just be my stumbling block. Apparently, a screenplay will not sell on wishing alone. There may actually be some work involved. Though I do have every
intention of racing the kids to the wishbone on Thanksgiving, just in case.

4. Plead my case to the universe.

In accordance with The Secret, it shall respond in kind.

5. Receive my accolades.

This is the part that I am really looking forward to, the part where I do nothing and gorgeous Italian and Latina women fan me with large branches and feed me
Concord grapes. Then, after I’ve chewed off the tart and tasty outside, they put their lips to mine and suck out the seeds like a Hoover.