So, Halloween is nearly over. I wore my normal attire, but received the snarky comment that I was dressed as a child molester. Other than that, it was like any other night. Here’s the wrap up.
I scored zero candy. I was not pranked. I did not engage in any type of silly repartee with a ghost, goblin, or well-oiled prostitute. On a positive note, I had no exchanges with children in costumes either, so I guess all is well.
It seems that Team Tripe has made an attempt to commandeer my blog for the sole purpose of talkin’ smack. This occurred while I was asleep, as Team Tripe is well aware that my ninja skills would have prevented such an underhanded takeover had I been conscious. While I could put the kibosh on this juvenile behavior, I won’t. Let Team Tripe come and talk all the smack in the Team Tripe arsenal. It will only further delay progress on Team Tripe’s STILL uncompleted screenplay.
It is going to be very difficult to sell a script before I do, Team Tripe, when you do not, in fact, have a script to sell.
And as for your godspeed? Keep it. You need it more than I do.
Muah, ha, ha,ha. That is correct. Team Tripe has hijacked this post. Why? One simple reason.
Smack talkin’.
Yes, I, Team Tripe, am renewing my vow to sell my tripey little unfinished script before you, one Random Riley, also known as Team Talent.
Godspeed.
It has been brought to my attention that comments have not been working. Not that this is generally one big comment fest, but still, if people have nice things to say about me, I want to afford them ample opportunity to do so. They should be working now. Let the praise recommence.
This means you Pam : )
I’m Unemployed
Okay, sometimes that doesn’t make you a rebel. Sometimes being unemployed just makes you broke. However, I am unemployed by choice. I quit my job because my boss was a tyrannical bitch and it was draining my life force, two of the better reasons to quit I like to think. Everyday when I trudged into work, the scene at the beginning of Joe vs. the Volcano ran through my head. If you haven’t seen it, let me set the scene for you.
It’s that time just after rush hour, when every employee is already in the parking lot. The worker ants are making the reluctant walk into the building along the muddy path. To create mood, the scene is lightly gray-scaled, the color sapped like their energy as they realize they sell eight hours of their lives daily for a measly wage and an aching back.
But a spark of hope…
One flower rises up from the muck and concrete, passed by unnoticed by hundreds of dragging feet. Then… it’s squashed.
That’s what working feels like to me.
In honor of my new theme (sweet, by the way), I would like to honor rebellion. In particular, my own. Rules suck. Rebel.
No, really, I mean it. You should totally rebel. It’s good for the soul. And besides, Jesus would want you to.
I love price-comparing at Kinko’s. I feel like the conversation goes something like this:
CUSTOMER: Hi. Would you please remind me how much you like to bend your customers over?
EMPLOYEE: We like to bend them over by at least fifty cents a page.
CUSTOMER: And do people actually take that?
EMPLOYEE: Well, yeah. Why do you think we need all this counter space?
As a child, growing up in Ohio, I thought a potato chip was a potato chip. When you only ever eat one brand, you have no reason to think any differently. Then, I grew up, went out into the world, and ate potato chips of all makes and models. One day, I came to the realization that I didn’t actually like potato chips at all. I found them a greasy, fatty mess, with few redemptive qualities. I became a hater.
Back in Ohio I had a hankering one day out of the blue, and bought the potato chips of my youth, Conn’s wavy potato chips. I pulled open the vacuum-sealed checker bag and took a chance on chips one more time. That’s when it occurred to me. I was never a hater. I was just spoiled.
Conn’s potato chips are the ambrosia of potato chips. They are fresher, they crunch better, and, oddly enough, they actually taste like potatoes. Are potato chips supposed to? They still don’t possess many redemptive qualities, but they do have one. They’re freakin’ tasty!
To all of you who live outside of the Conn’s delivery area, sucks to be you.
Dina Meyer as Taryn
+ 
Emma Caulfield as Adriana
_______________________________________________________
Dina Meyer and Emma Caulfield as Taryn and Adriana
Mmmmmmmmm. No really. Mmmmmmmmmm.
So where in the hell is it?
I ate breakfast at McDonald’s yesterday… again. Now, keeping in mind that I eat one of two things for breakfast nearly every morning of my life, oatmeal or cream of wheat, please note how hard it is to keep from throwing up throughout the day when I eat McDonald’s for breakfast. But I had to do it, because, according to The Secret, you have to put forth effort or the universe cannot respond to your request. So, I’ve put forth my crap-eating effort, and, well, no $500.
Universe, I’m just going to say it right out, you are pissing me off.
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