You know all of those stories about the ugly, unpopular duckling who takes abuse during their awkward phase, but then turns into a social butterfly and becomes beloved? How a duckling turns into a butterfly, I’m not sure. Just try to ignore the biological impossibilities and go with the cliché-heavy analogy of it all. When exactly does all of this happen, I wonder, and why is the duckling suddenly so comfortable and assured and happy in his or her new skin?

I don’t mean to disrespect my elders and shit on their attempt at deluding the young, but come on, seriously. I get the whole “things may be bad for you now, but they will change” moral, but I am just not going to accept the glossing over of the middle. Fables are not the Bible. Main characters can’t just disappear partway through and reappear years later with no explanation.

I want to read the part of the story about the duckling’s therapy. I want to know the dialogue that occurred as the duckling worked through its little duckling issues. Then, later, when the duckling became its swan self, I want to know why exactly the duckling was all relaxed and cool. Where was the fucking neurosis?