When money is tight and you need a naturally fun upper, there is nothing like a little t-ball soccer.

Ingredients: One tennis ball, two people, a linoleum or hardwood floor, and a gaggle of miscellaneous household items to mark goals. Our shitty apartment just happens to have doorways in the kitchen that are directly across from each other, but we still use our miscellaneous household items (a jug of vinegar here, a bottle of oil there) to block off pathways, so we don’t end up with a tennis ball behind the refrigerator or something.

Directions: Like soccer with a team of one. You must try to kick the tennis ball through the opponent’s goal (doorway) while defending your own goal (doorway) at the same time.

Health benefits: For an activity that takes place in an eight by four room, you can work up quite a sweat if you’re enthusiastic.

Possible dangers: If you are too enthusiastic though, you could send the ball anywhere, including the stovetop if you play in the kitchen. I wouldn’t recommend playing while cooking. I’d also advise removing breakables from the immediate area.

Outcome: A general feeling of euphoric giddiness, and a tally mark in either the win or loss column. So far I have been assured both the euphoria and the defeat.

Regulations still being considered: Should there be a handicap? I don’t want to be a sore loser, but is it possible that maybe, just maybe, Shawna’s gargantuan feet are giving her the tiniest bit of an advantage in t-ball soccer? I mean, all she has to do it turn her feet to the sides and her size elevens go practically from door frame to door frame.