When I am wealthy, I am going to be a total slut, and it’s going to be awesome. What an apt word the latin is in this case, because I do indeed agree that rolling around with greased-up hotties is the absolute definition of luxury. Who needs cars or accessories when you can have as many breasts around as you desire?

Lust, of course, that is the sin we are diving into today, and what a fabulous sin it is. If not for lust, there wouldn’t be babies, and if not for babies, there wouldn’t be that fabulous new baby smell.

Speaking of lust -

You know what really irks me about pageants like Miss Universe? It’s not the degradation or sexism. Who cares about that? It’s the fact that they parade seventy-seven, about half of them fairly hot, chics before me, and then immediately cut down to fifteen and drop most of the really hot ones before the competition even begins. That’s just freaking cruel. How am I supposed to pay attention during the bikini show… Oh, I’m sorry, the “Swimsuit Competition”… when all I can think about is the fact that there are sixty-two confident, uninhibited girls that I don’t get to see half-naked?

I watched the Miss Universe Pageant on Monday. I’m only slightly ashamed of it. Mostly I’m just aggravated. I hate that I am furthering Donald Trump’s career, but until I have the money to buy my own girls, I have no choice but to use his. They were wrong, wrong, wrong the vast majority of the time. The fact that Miss Georgia didn’t make the top fifteen, and that Misses Mexico and India were both cut before the top five were tragedies of cosmic-pageant proportions. There were other slighted babes as well, but don’t worry, you can find them all here: http://www.jijasali.com/gallery.php?contest=miss+universe+2007.

Praise the unlimited power of the internet to bring freshly-squeezed girls into my home on a regular basis, and don’t forget… The Internet is For Porn!