So, here goes the job searching, but this time, along with the usual skepticism of “I don’t know. You move around an awful lot,” I am now also experiencing the “What are these gaps in employment?” question. And I am yet again reminded of how you are made to suffer if you don’t memorize society’s rule book at an early age and regurgitate it on cue. For those of you who don’t have your rules memorized, I will reprint them below.

Ten Easy Steps to an Acceptable Life

Rule #1 – Finish high school and go to college.
Rule #2 – Graduate from college. (Send out invitations and walk the line, or you won’t get any acknowledgment of your achievement.) *
Rule #3 – Get married. (preferably to someone you met, and got engaged to, during college) *
Rule #4 – Find a job that you plan to be content with for at least forty years. Make sure it is near the place where you grew up, or at least relatives. Never, ever plan to move out of town.
Rule #5 – Buy a “starter house,” the house you can afford until you “move up” to a larger house with more rooms in a better subdivision. Prepare to move your belongings up in the world every ten years or so.
Rule #6 – Have children. Try to keep them close in age. Train them to be every bit as obedient as you were trained to be. *
Rule #7 – Add on (rooms, decks, balconies) anything that makes your house increase in value and makes your neighbors jealous.
Rule #8 – What you don’t put into house add-ons, new cars, or vacations, put into savings for retirement.
Rule #9 – Send your children off into the world (not too far, of course), marry them off, play with your grandchildren, retire.
Rule #10 – Plan your own funeral and die. You weren’t really living anyway.

* Depending on where you are in the world, rules 2, 3, and 6 can be interchangeable. All other rules must be followed explicitly and in order.